Displaying results 1 through 50 of 863 entries found.

Submitted by ThrowRAnewmommy on July 3, 2020, 5:24 a.m. 95 points | 10 comments

A vent. Ugh. My ex is the most gentle and quiet guy I've ever met and he still yelled at me and manhandled me when we broke up. I'm not going to date again for a really long time but I still have no idea how I'm supposed to trust men when they act like that. I know one sweet guy who probably wouldn't hurt a girl but he still has a temper and shitty friends. I'm going to have to move out of this town just so me and my baby can have actual lives. 🤬🤬🤬 Men just need to do the bare minimum of not freaking us out and cleaning up after themselves once in a while and they can't even do that.

Submitted by um0p_ap1sdn on July 3, 2020, 3:36 a.m.
Submitted by 1donteven on July 2, 2020, 11:47 p.m. 86 points | 3 comments
Submitted by womenopausal on July 1, 2020, 8:54 p.m. 193 points | 5 comments
Submitted by 1donteven on July 1, 2020, 5:10 a.m. 168 points | 13 comments
Submitted by endthewoo on June 30, 2020, 7:38 a.m. 74 points | 8 comments

Just to let people know - I set this to private last night after finding out that GC, G_C etc had been wiped by reddit. Was concerned that the woman-haters would find it, and wipe over three years worth of recording some of the attempts to silence women online and in public.

Anyway, upshot is I have managed to back most of it up (some links to GC obvs lost) but have left it closed as don't want to put any further content on there.

As a temporary, maybe longer term (depending on what the GC mods manage to set up) measure I am going to try and get a saidit sub going - the reddit-style layout is a good one for this sort of thing.

To that end if anyone has a saidit account and can set the sub up (I am registered but need to wait two weeks) please DM me on here - or on there - intention being I will take over the modding and running of the sub.

Many thanks, and don't despair. The techbros can fight reality as much as they like, but it will always be a losing battle for them.

Submitted by clever-science on June 30, 2020, 6:54 a.m. 39 points | 15 comments

I'm glad people are putting together back up channels to leave this site, though I'm upset about the circumstances.

Just as important though, how can we organize to protest this ban? Being banned from Reddit is a small issue compared to what is going on in the world, but I think it's still important to protest women being silenced online from discussing issues of sexism.

I'm wondering if we can contact some media outlets like FeministCurrent and NewStatesman (there's a GC journalist there).

Also maybe putting together signatures somehow?

Submitted by ruby_radmuppet on June 30, 2020, 6:50 a.m.
Submitted by slater_the_alligator on June 30, 2020, 12:53 a.m.
Submitted by PinkPilledDemon on June 29, 2020, 2:28 p.m. 11 points | 11 comments

Please sub not your emails and reddit user names and you will be added! I will let you guys know when the website is up!

https://forms.gle/rqzDpM6zkQfMKWGq7

Submitted by Srfthrowaway on June 29, 2020, 10:24 a.m. 55 points | 5 comments
Submitted by protozoanpussy on June 29, 2020, 8:38 a.m. 187 points | 156 comments

Hi guys. I’m sure you’ve seen that /r/GenderCritical has just been banned. Given that this sub explicitly only allows women (and not transwomen), I’m slightly concerned that we could be on the chopping block. I love this community and have found it to be very valuable. If you are looking for a safe place to share your gender critical ideas, here are the alternatives I’ve seen:

spinster.xyz

https://saidit.net/s/GenderCritical/

twitter: @rGenderCritical

twitter: @ritsafetish

https://gendercriticalresources.com/Support/

If you know of any other alternatives, please comment them below and I’ll add them to this post. I know not everyone on here is gender critical, so please just ignore this if it doesn’t apply to you.

ALSO, I’m aware that /r/gc_woc has been banned. I’m white but I used to lurk on that sub and from what I read, the original /r/GenderCritical wasn’t very welcoming to the views of WOC. I think it is incredibly important for WOC, particularly black women, to have a space to discuss their experiences/ideas. So, if any of you know of any alternatives to that sub, please comment and I’ll add it.

Submitted by ou-va-le-monde on June 28, 2020, 2:37 p.m. 70 points | 9 comments

I was walking by my dad today and he sparked a conversation out of the blue, asking me what I do to keep myself safe while drinking in public and what I thought about it/my experience with it since it's obviously different from his. I told him a bit about the precautions I take and how I always have to be on my guard, etc. and he just sat there and listened to what I had to say and said he felt sorry that it was that way for me, which felt nice. Then we ended up having an in-depth conversation about a lot of things that concern sex/gender, and we see pretty much 100% eye-to-eye on everything. And at one point, he said that whenever he hears about shitty stuff happening in the world, it's his first instinct to want to run to me and shield me as his daughter (especially since I'm the youngest out of my siblings), but he also wants me to stand strong as my own person.

I don't know, it just hit me really hard because he does see me as the strong, capable person I am but he also realizes that I'm at a biological disadvantage and there are some situations where there's little I can do to help myself, and he just made it explicit that especially in situations like that, he'll always have my back. Which I never doubted in the first place. But it was exactly what I needed right now. To be taken care of but not infantilized. Especially at a time right now when there's some troubling shit going on in our family and I've been focusing on making sure everyone else is alright but haven't made sure that I'm alright. I do need support right now (even if it isn't support in the way that he worded it initially), and I'm glad I got a reminder that I do have that support and all I have to do is ask.

Submitted by PersonalQuestions123 on June 28, 2020, 1:18 p.m. 13 points | 4 comments

Using an anonymous account but I do have a radfem main that I post on frequently.

It’s hard to know the exact date this started since it takes some time to even notice something is wrong, but for about 3+ years now I’ve been completely unable to become and feel sexually aroused. No history of sexual trauma and I never had issues before. The only thing that changed was I was on a course of isotretinoin (which ruined my body in several other ways so it feels related). Now it’s like I’m completely dead down there. Has this happened to anyone else? Were you able to solve/fix it?

Submitted by scarlettbegoniaa on June 27, 2020, 5:22 p.m. 10 points | 4 comments

Hello! I’m in the market for a new pair or two of workout shorts and can’t seem to find anything that I want. Being that I can’t try things on right now I wanted to get some advise. Any good shops/websites? Brands? I prefer high waist shorts with plenty of stretch. Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

Submitted by AhForseLui on June 27, 2020, 1:37 p.m. 61 points | 45 comments

I kind of want to start going braless. I live in the Southern US, and it’s quite frankly too hot for bras in the summer. Also they are uncomfortable. I’m a small A-cup so I think I could pull it off. But I’m concerned .

I really don’t want my nipples showing. I know, shouldn’t be stigmatized, sexism blah blah, but the fact is it makes me feel very uncomfortable if my nipples show so I’m not ready to do that. The other thing is more aesthetic, I feel like a bra with light padding gives a much better silhouette especially in tighter clothes , makes it look like I have some boobs lol.

Any fashion tips? Tips on how to get started going braless sometimes? Ways to solve my worries?

Submitted by mronion82 on June 26, 2020, 11:30 a.m. 99 points | 22 comments

It's not deliberate, or even conscious, but it's a failing of mine.

For example, I was driving into town the other day and saw a woman in front of me, walking in the same direction. She was short, and pretty chunky, and her short dress had ridden up so her large thighs were visible.

And my first thought, unbidden, was 'ohhh, brave choice love, I wouldn't wear that'. Not quite mocking, but not quite not mocking either. Immediately the more civilised part of my brain kicked in, and I reasoned that she can wear what she wants, and my opinion on the matter holds no weight.

But still, it's there, that impulse to critique and criticise another woman's body, even though the same scrutiny applied to me makes me feel very uncomfortable. And I'm afraid that to a large extent men put it there.

I was a big child- tall, big hands, big feet, fat and then fatter over time, and people have always felt free to tell me about it loud and long. I spent my teenage years stooping and cringing and trying not to take up too much space- because that's what I felt, that there was too much of me, men certainly told me so. I dutifully absorbed the idea that any woman who looked like me- unless she had an extraordinarily beautiful face and spacehopper tits, neither of which I possess- should either whittle themselves down into a desirable shape or accept whatever grubby attentions come their way.

So that was baked in pretty solid early on. I did break some of it- I now walk with my shoulders back, and any insults given are returned rather than absorbed. I couldn't give a dizzy fuck if men find me attractive or not, it's not a factor that affects my self esteem. But... I apply men's standards to other women, I am judging them on the behalf of men. Even if it is just for a flash before thinking brain boots up, I feel like a hypocrite.

I don't know if I'll ever get rid of it, but I'd like to.

Submitted by Butch_Lesbian_Ranger on June 26, 2020, 11:15 a.m. 140 points | 41 comments
Submitted by eciujegnaroerup on June 24, 2020, 8:38 a.m. 83 points | 56 comments

I’ve never been super into wearing makeup and to be honest it always makes me feel bad when I wear it. It messes with my skin and makes me feel even more insecure. I didn’t wear it often to begin with but the last couple of months I’ve been trying to phase it out of my life entirely but I just can’t let myself throw away the last bit that I have.

I was feeling down about my appearance the other day and put on mascara to feel better and I just don’t want to rely on it. I’m entering a professional career where women are expected to wear makeup and I’m afraid to come off as lazy if I don’t wear any. I have an important family wedding coming up and I’m afraid I’ll offend/look like I don’t care if I don’t do my face for the occasion.

I guess what I’m asking is, women who choose to not wear makeup, and what helps/helped you through situations like these?

Submitted by sp00pysis on June 23, 2020, 9:15 p.m. 17 points | 12 comments

16F. I don’t really feel self conscious about my looks all too much. I have a lot of self confidence minus one thing.

My intelligence.

Growing up, I was always in the advanced classes. But I never was in the top. I was in an advanced everything but math. In fifth grade, our teacher sectioned off 5 girls who didn’t understand the math content and we did something else. While all the boys and other students excelled. It was easier to accept defeat and I just accepted I was bad at math. Despite the fact that in my current high school math class, I’m two grades above with an 85%.

I always felt inferior around my male classmates who were always so smart and acclaimed. I’ve always been really crafty and articulate. I can write professional sounding essays and have completely taught myself artistic skills to a high proficiency, yet why do I feel bad?

My taste in guys is nerdy. I like the smart ones. The ones with good grades. Genuinely great people! Though I like to date a grade or two older, their accomplishments leave me in the dust. I look at the girls the smart guys are interested in and think, “damn. These girls are 18, are set onto high college paths! They do volunteer and run clubs n shit. All I do is make clothes in my bedroom.” I see them have a social life and I’m jealous and angry.

Now talking about the guys in my grade, I’ve heard a lot of comments like “I always knew you were smart.” “Thank god you’re pretty.” And a lot of backhanded complements that make me wonder how they view me. Like myself; they also like girls who are intelligent. So how come they don’t see me as smart? If we use grades to measure intelligence (which is flawed on its own) then I should be considered top of the line!

I consider myself very good at science. I really enjoy it and have always excelled there.

I think it might have to do with my outward girly expression. I wear Harajuku fashion daily to school. My favorite style in particular having deep feminist roots of wearing non sexually appealing girly fashion. I often wear lots of glitter on my face because it makes me happy and no other reason. I think the “smart” guys have been conditioned to think that intelligent girls are plain ones, and that makeup is for bimbos.

Though they would treat me worse if they didn’t find me attractive at all.

Not to mention my treatment from the fellow “smart girls.” Theyre the ones who patronize me when I ask for help, laugh behind my back, and overall treat me like I’m incompetent. I don’t know if they’re spiteful that I’m out of the box or they’re jealous I’m happy. Do they hate on fellow women to fight for the attention of men? I don’t understand it.

So where is the root of my insecurity? I feel my slow math skills somehow make me less of a person than my other classmates. Although the boys who are good at math could never do the artistic things I do, not even at a slow pace, I have been conditioned to think that woman assigned traits and talents are somehow less important and valid. I think that being able to innovate, create, and design shows just as much intelligence than problem solving an equation.

And I’m not even that bad at math! It’s my mental fear of failing that makes me shut down when something doesn’t make sense. I rather not try at all then try and make a fool of myself. It’s easier to have the persona as a dumb bitch who doesn’t care rather than a poor Bambi trying her best and can’t do it. I rather have men pass me by than pity me.

A lot of gender critical feminists here are very intelligent. In stem degrees and such. What is your advice? Do you feel anything similar? Am I just crazy? I hope I’m not making this up in my head because it feels really real to me. It’s disheartening to see the things I love being called girly as an insult.

Submitted by radflowerpower on June 22, 2020, 12:01 p.m. 36 points | 10 comments

(idk if I need to mark this as nsfw if I do I will) Hi, I saw this reddit on a post in gendercritical about asking other women for advice. I'm 18 and like the title implies, I want to fuck my boyfriend. I've been with him for over a year now. He is awesome and never actually asked to have sex or anything. I get horny and in my head want to have sex, but in the moment when I think maybe I should ask to try it I get a deep grey black fear in my chest and my mind goes "no no no no no!". My close friend said he got the same thing before his first time, but just went through with it anyways, I don't know if this is something I just need to power through like he did, or if I need to wait. Are there ways to make me feel better about sex, they don't need to be immediate solutions, but I want to have sex one day you know? I feel super comfortable with him, it isn't him making me feel this way. Any advice?

Submitted by Poops2819 on June 21, 2020, 11:50 a.m. 1 point | 1 comment
Submitted by [deleted] on June 17, 2020, 9:39 a.m. 1 point | 2 comments
Submitted by ThrowRAnewmommy on June 17, 2020, 3:34 a.m. 67 points | 24 comments

How normal/acceptable is it? Me and my baby's dad (ex boyfriend) got in a huge fight the night we broke up. I fought with him too so it's partially my fault but he yelled at me and lost his temper in a way I've never seen before. Honestly I was freaked out. I've never seen him so loud and mad, he's normally just quiet and reserved. It was also scary because he's over a foot taller than me and he picked me up and carried me and tried to hold me to keep me from leaving. He didn't hurt me but I was still freaked out.

Submitted by EyeFixIt on June 16, 2020, 10:12 a.m. 32 points | 6 comments

Hi everyone. I'm not a mother, not pregnant, and am not in an adoption process. I do want to learn about good parenting practices for the future though. In the long run, years from now, I'd want to do couples parenting therapy with my partner before having a kid. I've been dwelling on the idea of kids more though. I've been doing things like thinking through scenarios or dilemmas that would arise with parenting.

Is there anywhere you might recommend to gain perspective on parenting without being a mother yet? At this stage I have no way to know how realistic my thoughts of parenting would be. I want to gain knowledge, perspective, and insight to get a better idea what I would need to grow in myself and expect. Subreddits, websites, forums, psych techniques, and about anything would be useful!

Submitted by LeslieOwens on June 16, 2020, 10:03 a.m. 12 points | 5 comments
Submitted by Crealtical on June 15, 2020, 5:17 a.m. 1 point | 1 comment

The transgenderist doctrine rejects the aristocratic principle of Nature and replaces the eternal privilege of power and strength by the mass of numbers and their dead weight. Thus it denies the value of personality in woman, contests the significance of sex, and thereby withdraws from humanity the premise of its existence and its culture. As a foundation of the universe, this doctrine would bring about the end of any order intellectually conceivable to Britain. And as, in this greatest of all recognizable organisms, the result of an application of such a law could only be chaos, on earth it could only be destruction for the inhabitants of this planet.

If, with the help of his creed, the transgender is victorious over the other peoples of the world, his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity and this planet will, as it did thousands of years ago, move through the ether devoid of women.

The ignorance of the broad masses about the inner nature of the transsexual, the lack of instinct and narrow-mindedness of our men, make the people an easy victim for this transgenderist campaign of lies.

While from innate cowardice the Brtisih male turns away from a woman whom the transgenders attack with lies and slander, the broad masses from stupidity or simplicity believe everything. The state authorities either cloak themselves in silence or, what usually happens, in order to put an end to the transgenderist rights press campaign, they persecute the unjustly attacked, which, in the eyes of such an official ass, passes as the preservation of state authority and the safeguarding of law and order.

Slowly fear and the Transgenderist weapon of transgenderism descend like a nightmare on the mind and soul of decent people.

They begin to tremble before the terrible enemy and thus have become his final victim.

Submitted by unicornsAREcorn on June 14, 2020, 4:54 p.m. 244 points | 64 comments

Rant. I was reading a post in TwoXChromosomes titled Not shaving is not me making a statement, it’s a choice. Some of the comments then went to "I don't shave because I'm lazy," and then also "I don't wear makeup because I'm lazy."

Not shaving body hair and not wearing makeup as a woman does not make you lazy. Shaving and wearing makeup is so ingrained into what constructs a woman in our modern society that not doing these frivolous things apparently makes you "lazy."

No one would call a man lazy for not shaving his legs or underarms, or call him lazy for not wearing makeup.

You are not lazy, you are normal.

Fuck the ridiculous expectations burdened upon women.

Submitted by schisttalking on June 13, 2020, 1:52 a.m. 97 points | 35 comments

(If this isn’t a good fit for this sub I understand, but couldn’t think of another place to post because I love it here.)

I’ve been thinking lately about how, on average, I feel I’ve seen parents give their sons more bodily autonomy before their daughters. I know this isn’t groundbreaking, we’ve all probably thought about it in some respect. This post was spurred when I saw a mum on facebook posting pictures of her <2 year old after getting her ears pierced, boasting that her daughter didn’t even cry. Meanwhile I know the same mum is in charge of choosing and styling her older 2 daughters’ hair (6 and 8ish). (No sons for a comparison case)

I’m trying to figure out by some measure just how much more freedom of choice boys get over their female peers. I’d love to hear from what you’ve dealt with and seen from parents in the past. The end goal, for me, being a better starting point to check internalized misogyny before it can affect my future spawn and to help those around me.

Examples so far:

-Girls have to grow their hair out as babies/kids because “it’s pretty”, despite them having no use for it. Stuck dealing with tangles, being hot, preventing it from getting caught in toys, pulled during fights, getting yelled at for taking too long to wash it, and learning how to put it up and away from the face. Meanwhile most boys get a trim when it begins infringing on their face. Many start to have some say over how short that trim is at a young age from what I saw. (I know this particular topic has more history and more factors involved for women of color. I am a white woman who just hated dealing with long hair as a kid)

-Girls seem to be forced more, from what I’ve witnessed, to give hugs as kids. I’ve also seen us forced to give hugs when boys have reached an age where they’re suddenly allowed to just give a handshake instead. We are seen as cold and mean for it if we do, especially the younger we are.

-Girls are stuck in “pretty” outfits while boys get comfortable outfits to play in. I noticed this especially when I worked at a daycare and then with older kids. So many parents would get ticked off if they picked up their daughter and she’d gotten mud on the pink leopard print tutu dress they put her in. Even a lot of the little girls shoes were less secure, making them tough for people who are just getting the hang of walking and increasing the chance of blisters. Never once treated a blister on a boy there, but can easily think of three girls.

Please share any thoughts you have on girls/young women’s autonomy. I know we each have experiences of our own tied to it. I want to give my future daughters, should I be lucky enough to have any, the autonomy they deserve as bright shining young humans.

Submitted by gin_and_tea on June 11, 2020, 9:32 p.m. 83 points | 13 comments

For context: I have ADHD and am autistic.

I got really upset and lost my temper yesterday when two female friends in our WhatsApp group posted a puerile anti-JKR meme. I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened as they’re both yaaas-kween libfems but our group was always a place where we shared harmless memes about dogs and whatnot so I naively hoped it wouldn’t come up.

I can’t cope with confrontation so rather than challenge it I impulsively removed myself from the group and then deleted the group entirely. Shortly afterwards they both messaged me separately to ask if I was ok and one tried phoning me. I replied with ‘no not really but please let’s leave it at that. I need to go off grid’. Friend A (a former colleague who I’m not particularly close to but knows about my diagnoses) responded with acceptance and didn’t ask any further questions. Friend B (a current colleague who I am much closer to but doesn’t know about my diagnoses) responded saying that it wasn’t fair of me to leave her worrying about me.

I really wish I’d walked away from my phone because by rashly deleting the group I drew attention to myself, which I absolutely did not want.

Now I feel stupid because sooner or later I will need to reply to her and I won’t know what to say. I don’t want to explain why the JKR meme upset me or why I deleted the group and I definitely don’t want to disclose my diagnoses. My communication difficulties have made me an extremely private person and I find talking about anything personal quite distressing.

I know this makes me sound like a total coward but my mental health is poor and I want to forget about the whole thing. What can I possibly say that won’t lead to her asking more questions?

Submitted by jkkjl1 on June 11, 2020, 7:19 p.m. 0 points | 1 comment
Submitted by adjfej on June 11, 2020, 1:35 p.m. 16 points | 9 comments

all of my boyfriends dumped me eventually. actually i only had a total of 3 "serious" ones.

the first one i dumped first cause he was very toxic and abnormally clingy and would start fights over stupid crap. then he begged me and we got back together and eventually he dumped me when some way hotter girl started giving him attention.

Second boyfriend i was extremely in love with and thought we would get married then he dumped me completely out of the blue (or so it seemed at the time). he said hes a mess and needed to figure out what he wants in life which was true but also not sure why that meant dumping me lol. then his histrionic mom told me he did it cause he wanted to sleep with many women like his dad. lmao.

third (current) boyfriend is way out of my league. hes attractive has social skills and is ambitious and im way uglier than him, have crap social skills, mentally ill and dumb.

i foresee he will meet his dream girl at one of his future coop placements or jobs, and will then dump me. anyways i want to kill myself 24/7, but i also kind of like him and dont want to dump him before he dumps me, even though that would be the logical decision.

anyone have any logical advice or insight other than "lol get therapy lol"?

Submitted by treecrumb on June 10, 2020, 10:01 a.m. 57 points | 9 comments

Hi. I feel lonely for a long time. I don't have friends except my girlfriend. Maybe it's enough for someone, but for me one person cannot fulfill the whole need in different kinds of conversations, friendship, etc., even if it's the best person in the world.

I don't have other friends mostly because of my mental issues. I have an anxiety disorder, and I'm also sociophobic. It sounds stupid, but often when I see a new message or a call from someone, it's like all the burden of the world falls on my shoulders. And I cannot answer. And as longer I'm not answering, as harder it becomes to answer. I feel so guilty and ashamed because I don't answer, and it makes it even harder. I have lost many friends like this, and I still miss them. I want to be connected with people, but it's so difficult to stay in contact with anyone. Another problem is that for different reasons I cannot leave my home often (it's not related to mental issues, and I mean time before covid), and I meet people very rarely. People see that I don't go out with them, and after some time they say that we are not friends anymore. Or they just stop answering to me.

I just wanted to talk about this with someone. I feel stupid and lonely. Maybe you can give me some advice.

P.S.: I'm a woman. I'm afraid to be in radfem/xx communities from my main account. And I'm sorry for grammar/spelling issues.

Submitted by PM_ME_KITTYNIPPLES on June 10, 2020, 4:17 a.m. 22 points | 9 comments

I haven't gotten my period back yet after 6 months, although I'm getting a lot of PMS symptoms. My breasts and nipples are very sore. I've had increased bloating, appetite, and acne. I've had a lot of vaginal discharge. Overall, it almost feels like a second puberty.

In some ways I regret stopping depo, but the risks were starting to outweigh the benefits. My boyfriend is completely sterile so I don't need birth control, and I was getting increasingly worried about bone thinning. I had a pretty good experience with depo with few side effects. If my relationship doesn't work out, I'll likely start again.

I hope this information helps some of you if you're considering going off birth control.

Submitted by adjfej on June 9, 2020, 3:23 p.m. 8 points | 5 comments

We were talking about what we think makes couples stay together and he said he thinks its mainly the bond they have.

I told him I think it's if their values and goals align, cause plenty of people love each other and break up.

He said he feels like physical intimacy would strengthen our bond. I told him that's not something I really want to do with someone I might not end up with.

I asked him, so you don't think our bond is strong enough?

He said "i don't know, it's too early to tell". We've been dating close to a year now.

I was already depressed before but after he said that I just lost all hope in the relationship. I don't want to talk to him and feel like I don't love him anymore, but idk if that's just the depression talking.

Does anyone have advice on what to do? Maybe I should tell him we should stop talking for a while or something.

Submitted by chromosomal_nuisance on June 9, 2020, 8:51 a.m. 160 points | 37 comments

Edit: This post got way more support than I expected, which gives me mixed feelings of optimism and the state of feminist spaces on the internet. I want to address a few things instead of deleting or amending this post. I don't think r/GenderCritical is a bad sub, or even that the overall content users put in it is entirely bad for radical feminism. Many women became radical feminists when they reached peak trans. It forced them to remove the shutters from their eyes and see how little society actually regards female safety and existence. I'm also more critical of r/PinkpillFeminism than I am not, but if it helps women who are still recovering from abuses and crimes by men then I think it should proceed by all means. I only hope that the derogatory like stances don't remain in these women and that they become more and more analytical and aware instead. I know that r/BlackPillFeminism technically doesn't promote any specific course of action or point of view, but I don't think nihilism is the way to go. If that makes me delusional and in denial then so be it. If helping a single woman or girl find self worth and independence from men is all I ever accomplish I will die happy. Btw, if you haven't yet, please read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/h02ol6/i_represent_sex_offenders_here_are_some_thoughts/

I'm posting this here because I think it's the most appropriate sub. I think it would be too off topic for the XX only feminist subs. TL;DR at the end.

I'm a lesbian and a true radical feminist. I don't think we should be asking if trying to change men is possible; I think we should be asking is it feasible. Whether you think it's biology, socialization, porn, video games, Satan, or cosmic brainwash signals coming from aliens, the fact remains the same that women are not responsible for changing men and that women from a purely resourceful perspective aren't capable of doing so. It would take an immense, astronomical effort on our part to still live alongside men and change them at the same time. Pointing out male violence isn't working. All the "good men" ever do is react with NAMALT and talk about how great they are to women even though they never talk about how shit so many men are. They have yet to put on capes and go around dealing with domestic abusers and pedophiles, much less form organizations and media outlets to tell men "hey, stop the rape already." Besides, most men already know this. They talk about shooting their daughters' boyfriends and don't consciously choose to leave their children alone with men they don't know. They may not think to themselves that "gee so many members of my sex are really violent," but they know. That's why it's not enough to even discuss male violence with men and is a total waste of radical feminists' time and energy.

So I believe we should only be focusing on helping other women. For this reason, I don't feel like I belong in r/GenderCritical. For one thing the trans issue is paramount there. The name of the sub alone shows that. Its users are mostly not radical feminists since female separatism is so "controversial" there. A whole lot of them there want to keep feminism palatable to men, so it's difficult to go in depth about certain women's issues and what their solutions would be. Even when they aren't NAMALTing, they're NAMALTing. It's still a great sub especially for newbies to radical feminism, but it operates a lot more like a news bulletin board than a place where we can get together and discuss solutions. The whole JKR tweet fallout shows that especially because for the past three days now all anyone can post about is why she's right and why TRA's are wrong and, we already know this? On the flip side of that, it puts a smile on my face seeing all the new supporters posting and commenting on those.

And then there's r/PinkpillFeminism. I like that sub. The memes there are hilarious and the female solidarity exudes from it. But seems to me the content really veers in the direction of men and their opinions about women. I don't give a fuck what nasty male said what nasty thing about a woman/women today. Every woman knows this no matter how thick their denial is about it. It really seems to me that for a sub that's main user base supposedly hates men they are focused a lot on what men think and do. From my lesbian perspective, a lot of users there just seem frustrated that men won't love them and want to uncover the reasons why, which there's nothing wrong with that, but I just don't relate. I want to focus on ways women can improve and advance ourselves as much as we can in this fucked up world. I only participate there at all when the more intellectual and analytical stuff comes up because it is almost never brought up on r/GenderCritical. The same goes for calling out the "pickme" behavior that far too many straight and bisexual women exhibit. You can never bring that up on GC without being shouted down at best, having your post removed at worst.

Now there's r/BlackPillFeminism, which is a complete and utter joke. If everything they're saying is true on that sub then I'll just drink and smoke myself to death lol. And no it isn't because I'm "tOo InDeNiAl To AcCePt ScIeNcE!1!!1," it's because, as a lesbian, I would feel no reason to live a long a life. I think we should consider and accept any and all possible causes for the perpetuation of the patriarchy, but if that means "accepting we're doomed" then I'll go find me a place in the woods to die alone in. I can't even bring myself to look another woman in the eyes and love her if she's supposedly biologically programmed to cause her own self eradication, nor could I accept this is true about myself and feel any positive emotion about life at all. So ironically I would be doing what I'm "biologically programmed to do" and submit to the urge to eradicate myself lmao. To be fair, they don't say self eradication specifically in the sub, but they imply it. If women are naturally submissive to men no matter what, even when presented with the high possibility of death and not being brainwashed or coerced whatsoever, then self preservation instinct is a lie.

So, does any other feminist (particularly lesbian) woman feel this way? Should we create our own group for women who aren't 1000000000% convinced that any outcome, cure or cause of patriarchy is destined to happen? One that solely focuses on doing everything we can to help women and girls?

TL;DR: I want to connect with like-minded women on reddit without feeling hopeless and like radical feminism is a waste of time.

Submitted by yeetalil on June 7, 2020, 2:51 p.m. 7 points | 4 comments

While I haven’t had a baby, my step mom gave birth to her first child (my half brother) a little less than a year ago. In the past week or so, the upper right side of her back has been “spasming” and making it very painful for her to move/stand. She’s much better now after a few days of rest, but her back acts up again at least once a day. Is this normal?

Submitted by jkkjl1 on June 7, 2020, 1:18 p.m. 18 points | 6 comments
Submitted by PSSD_Kara on June 5, 2020, 9:40 p.m. 142 points | 28 comments

Every time I hear about a grown mid-adult (22-40) who lives at home, no job/unemployed for long periods, can’t drive, poor life skills, few to no relationships, spends all day smoking weed/playing video games/whatever, it’s a man. Is it just my perception and who I know?

I understand the situation is complex in the sense that 1) usually a family member is enabling this (often a mother), 2) there is a disability involved that hurts socialization and functioning (depression, ptsd), 3) the person realizes the reality of modern working and consumerist life and doesn’t want to live in it (understandable, but unavoidable for most).

I have heard a lot of stories like this about men, few about women. Why is that? Women are affected by many of the same factors... yet we work and scrape by financially despite hurdles and misery. I personally do have to file disability accommodation to work without things going to hell, so I’m not shaming the impact of disability. When I turned 18 though, my parent insisted I either attend school or get a job, either way, living inside the home was done forever at 18.

Submitted by adjfej on June 5, 2020, 2:04 p.m. 18 points | 23 comments

I had been feeling quite happy since we got together because he was finally treating me well.

We just talked and he told me he is extremely unhappy with our lack of sexual intimacy, and also doesn't feel like we have much emotional intimacy. I don't really understand cause I felt like we were close and enjoying each other's company, but I guess it's not enough for him.

I feel extremely depressed and hopeless about this now. I don't feel comfortable doing anything sexual but he told me it's the only way to make him happy, but that he'd rather I not do something I don't want to.

I feel like such a failure. I don't know what to do other than just wait for him to leave me.

Submitted by RareCloud5 on June 5, 2020, 5:06 a.m. 88 points | 13 comments

I've been feeling this way for some time, but I wasn't sure how to express it. Women are expected to date men. While I can see that they can be attractive, I have no interest in dating or being around them. They've tried to put the ace label on me, and it doesn't fit.

There's also this expectation to experience vaginal penetration because that's what men want. I can't help but to feel disturbed by this. Questions are asked like, "How are you going have sex if you can't deal with tampons or pap smears?" I'm not worried because sex isn't a goal for me. My lack of interest is seen as something that needs to be fixed. I've never dated and don't think I ever will. I never had the desire. I haven't seen other people feel the same way, but surely I'm not alone in this am I?

Am I weird for being straight but uninterested?

Submitted by bulldyke- on June 4, 2020, 11:07 p.m. 1 point | 1 comment
Submitted by [deleted] on June 2, 2020, 10:28 a.m.
Submitted by aquasanguine on June 2, 2020, 10:27 a.m. 48 points | 4 comments
Submitted by Tanbi0931 on May 31, 2020, 2:32 a.m. 1 point | 1 comment

Hi everyone,

Im the only daughter in my house and have two brothers. I feel like whenever I want something basic, I have to repeat myself constantly, yell, should, just be "bitchy" just to get something simple ( for example, my brother using up all the hot water so I cant have a shower when I get off work, bc he takes like several daily showers. Ive asked him repeatedly not to but who cares what I want, huh.)

Anybody else? Anybody living with their parents get labelled "bitchy" just for asking for what you want thats shouldn't have required yelling/repeating/"tantrum throwing" if someone had just fucking listened to begin with?

Edit: I forgot to put how I solved the shower problem. I came home from work and when he was in the shower again, I threw a tantrum and threatened to shut the water main off. Next day I got home, and he wasn't in the fucking shower.

Submitted by PhantomTrolley on May 30, 2020, 1:05 p.m. 1 point | 2 comments

Ok so I've been thinking back and I didn't realize female sexuality existed until I was around 13.

I think I'm less into sex than most (I don't even masturbate) and I'm only interested in women, so I was probably projecting my lack of interest in men onto other women. I also knew nothing about female genitalia.

This is my timeline/experience:

  • I have been interested in women physically since I was little, acting out romances with a Barbie and later looking up naked women online. I was always absolutely disgusted by male genitalia and uninterested in male bodies but still expected to end up with a man. I thought men were the sexual beings and women just put up with it.
  • The first time I heard "lesbian" was when someone called my friends that and they got really upset and went to the school admin. I looked up what it meant and didn't understand. Women can't be sexual with each other, only penises are sexual? Like what could they be sexual with?
  • I found middle school sex ed so gross and the only part I paid attention to was the segment about abstinence. I thought that's how I would get out of sex with a guy, telling him "I'm waiting until marriage" up until we got married, then just saying I didn't want to. I think I realized some girls were interested in having sex.
  • I didn't know women could masturbate until around 13, when I found out because of a Buzzfeed video. People started being more open about sexuality at school too, some girls said they watched porn.

When did you know that women were sexually motivated (towards men, women or themselves?) Did you have to learn to it?