Have any of you tried talking to a therapist about your look problems? What happened?
Submitted Jan. 9, 2021, 8:50 a.m. by angelicorgasmI am really curious, I am ugly in the looks department and depressed about it and feel like therapy would be useless for my looks issues.
13 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
i think completely healthy people would benefit from therapy and i think you should absolutely do therapy if you have the ability to go.
even if it does nothing to improve your looks issues, its going to help with everything else.
seriously, if its something you can do you should definitely do it.
I know a girl who went to a therapist for that reason. I'm not sure exactly what was said but she's doing better and now has a boyfriend and confidence.
Half the battle is just having confidence and charisma.
Find a wordrobe and hair cut the work's for you and rock it
You may be not able to get Brian Renolds but some fella will eventually notice you. Online date as much as you can.
"You need to practice self-compassion", "let's tackle that inner bully", "I am sorry you feel that way", "did I mention self-compassion?"
Cbt therapy is not as great as people make it out to be and, tbh, unless the therapist suffered from lookism (mine is somewhere at the border between normie and becky, so likely not), they will not understand. But then, again, I might be wrong - I really think it all depends on how good the therapist is.
Unfortunately I cannot afford private therapy, so I'm stuck with the one that nhs assigned me to.
Yeah, I went to a psychiatrist a couple years back who was treating me with CBT. The only change that came from it was my med prescription (they do help) and getting some things off of my chest to an unbiased person with no ties to me privately that I'd always felt too ashamed to mention to anyone. The actual CBT part was... to be completely honest, a little cringeworthy to me. It felt like I could predict everything that was about to be said and everything was a tired, vague cliché that didn't dig that deep. I've tried CBT with other therapists as well and to me it all just felt like this example:
"I'm afraid to go to the supermarket because I think strangers know stuff about me that I have no idea about and are secretly all talking about me"
CBT = Your new thought will be "they don't know me, they aren't talking about me, they're just shopping for groceries".
Like yeah, that's the natural and rational thought to have, but it just... isn't that simple.
Yeah, it's exactly like this! This is my second therapist (I got a whole 6 sessions last year when I told my GP I'm suicidal) and I feel like they think a set of simple tricks can really change your life for better, but I don't think it's that simple. I rationally know that my thoughts are not helpful, I know what I should do, but when I'm in the moment, I cannot go past my emotions and this is not something that can be resolved by writing down "why self-compassion is good for you" or having a 2 day practice of being kind to yourself. It sometimes feel like - without trying to offended anyone - CBT is for dumb people, who would not get to any conclusions themselves. Or maybe it all could work, if you could have a therapy for a long time, but for me NHS allows 12 sessions only.
The only good thing is, same as for you, I got prescription for antidepressants.
I haven't been able to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones because they're only positive on the surface, not deep where the true stuff lives. But I do think that maybe for CBT to be really effective, it needs to be done every single day, and by its very nature, depression impedes me from this.
Eh I've said something like I learned not to talk much because no one cares what a fat girl has to say. The response is to write and repeat positive affirmations to develop self esteem
The affirmations will continue until morale improves. 🤖
Therapy is worthless for lookism issues.
Been there done that. I'm too scarred mentally and physically to get to a "normal place", just resentment at myself and others around me.
therapists just parrot everything i say back to me. im too shy to tell them anything meaningful anyways
She just told me I wasn’t ugly and kept questioning why I felt so insecure. She made me feel like I needed to justify my reasoning for being there. And it pissed me off, why did she take her one opinion as if it was gospel and acted like 90% of ppl didnt find me ugly.
I went for my OCD and for my issues with how I look.
I told the therapist that I wasn't pretty, just stating it as a fact (I was 19 and had terrible self-esteem at the time). and she looked at me and went "You are an attractive woman" and I was like "really?" and she said "Yes you are objectively attractive"
For some reason it just really clicked for me in that moment. The fact that I was ugly was just made up by my brain for whatever reason.
It is. Therapy can be helpful after plastic surgery and weight loss, but that's it. Barely any therapists acknowledge lookism and most just try to gaslight ugly patients into submission.
I remember talking with a therapist how I was excluded by other girls and made fun of by boys for my looks and she kept denying I was ugly. Ok, if I'm not ugly then WHAT explains the treatment I endured? What triggered it? It happened consistently in multiple environments. It was not "muh personality" because I've always been kind yet reserved. Nothing I did or said could have coordinated the harassment so efficiently in different school districts.
It's like, LADY, I am objectively ugly, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person or don't deserve love. I GET THAT! But it's so tiring for everyone around me to treat me like the elephant in the room now that I'm an adult and it's because I obviously need jaw surgery.
I stopped going soon after.
All I wanted was some validation that the treatment I experienced, and continue to experience, is soul-crushing and horribly isolating due to my looks. Instead my therapist was straight up denying reality. Wtf. 🤡