Has anyone here ever been intimate with a man? What was it like? If not what do you think it’s like?

Submitted Jan. 11, 2021, 7:39 p.m. by myexisacnt

I’m asking because I’m a virgin, I dated a boy for about a month and he kept trying to push me into sexual things, i was curious about it but I wanted to wait until we were serious. He left me for some Stacy who put out for him and I got left with a bunch of questions. One of which being this one.

14 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
Trash_Opinion_taFormer Femcel · Jan. 11, 2021, 7:43 p.m. · 4 replies

Sucks for that Stacy. You were in the right; you should never put out for somebody just because they beg you to. It's a mutual act and you should do it because you want to, not because you're forced to.

Edit: yo, downvote me if you want but at least tell me why, wtf.

Livinginhell2020Femcel · Jan. 11, 2021, 10:13 p.m.

Probably incels downvoting. That seems to be how they can get in their digs at us without getting banned.

Board_GamingFA Woman · Jan. 11, 2021, 11:03 p.m.

I agree with you.

Toast-On-CheeseMoid · Jan. 11, 2021, 11:58 p.m.

Not sure why you're getting downvoted you're 100% right.

NozappaMoid · Jan. 12, 2021, 5:33 p.m.

Absolutely true, sex is consensual and you should always be sure something is ok with your partner before doing it, that's the golden rule.

ihatebeingfemcelFemcel · Jan. 11, 2021, 8:01 p.m. · 1 reply

Yes, it was uncomfortable and the guy was super selfish. Only cared about himself getting off.

IlikecoffeepizzanyhMoid · Jan. 11, 2021, 10:02 p.m.

Ugh those are the worst, should be women that get off first then dudes so its all fair

BlirbyFemcel · Jan. 11, 2021, 10:01 p.m. · 1 reply

I will say that a lot of my experiences of intimacy with men have been marred by the sense that I was performing for them. Like we were both working together for their orgasm but mine was not even a consideration. Or if it was that was obviously secondary and just the “payback” or validation to the ego that theirs was earned.

So it’s very good for you I think that you did not do what you didn’t want to do. Let your experiences of intimacy be entirely for you, even if you share them with someone else

uglygalthrowFemcel · Jan. 12, 2021, 9:51 a.m.

Straight sex scares me

Livinginhell2020Femcel · Jan. 11, 2021, 10:11 p.m.

I've had sex. It wasn't that great and I would trade sex for cuddling and feeling loved anyday. All the men that think we have it better since we can get sex easier dont know what they are talking about. Sex doesn't make me feel cared about. Having someone tell that they care about you would be soooo much better than sex. I never had a man care about anything other than having sex.

SewudFormer Femcel · Jan. 11, 2021, 11:48 p.m. · 1 reply

First time was when I was passed out / asleep. Definitely not planned and not a choice, I had chosen to go to sleep on the couch of the living room (was a mini soirée with only his male friends and me), but they woke me up to carry me to his bed. In fact this mini soirée wasn't even planned, I was told we'd go on a drinks date just him and me, but that was cancelled after 15 minutes when his friend showed up and they called another friend.

I didn't have an orgasm with my first two boyfriends. It was quite stressful and scary with the first one because he would break the condom and "not notice", and so I had to go on the pill, but there's also some stress for that too because sometimes you forget it, followed by a month of being scared and hating yourself. I also think the pill made me chemically depressed, or just the utter futility of a shitty relationship full of painful sex.

I wouldn't say my last boyfriend was more skilled, but as I got older I learned how to make myself have an orgasm during sex. I'd visualize something more exciting than sex with him (I don't mean me with a different guy, I mean some extraneous situation that turns me on). The orgasm during sex is still not impressive. As someone else said, sex with men is mostly performative, if you like performing there's that. You make him happy.

NozappaMoid · Jan. 12, 2021, 5:36 p.m.

What the fuck, sometimes I feel we don't live in the same world. That testimony is very sad :(.

yanfan_throwawayFemcel · Jan. 12, 2021, 2:39 a.m.

hah i wish. maybe it would make me stop feeling like im completely fucking worthless

incelredditthrowawayMoid · Jan. 12, 2021, 8:44 a.m.

Your stance is completely valid. NEVER let yourself be pressured into doing anything sexual you are not comfortable doing. Otherwise you open the door for abuse, toxicity and trauma.

All in all it sounds like you two were incompatible in regards to sexuality. Probably a good thing that you split up, prevents a lot of frustration in the future.