Is It Possible to Get Through Life Without Being Raped?

Submitted June 17, 2020, 1:37 a.m. by desertmoonvibes

Obviously, all women live with the fear for the total duration of our lives, and we all do a multitude of things to protect ourselves.

I know there are women who are never raped, but I also can't help but worry about it, despite whatever precautions I take. Being a lesbian and female separatist, I've already eliminated the biggest risk factor: dating, marrying, and living with a het male lover. I don't have male friends, either. Ideally, all of my female friends would be lesbians or otherwise separatist/perma-single, but even if I'm friendly with coupled het women, I avoid their men.

I'm interested in hearing from middle-aged and older women particularly. If you're younger but have anything to share based on what the older women in your life have said, I'm interested in hearing it too.

55 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
censorshipment · June 17, 2020, 1:56 a.m. · 1 reply

I'm a 37 year old black lesbian, and I haven't been raped.

My mom's eldest brother, who raped her for 4 years as a child, almost raped me when I was 5 in 1988... it was on the 4th of July. He took me outside, and my mom followed us to stop him. He never tried again.

When I was 15, I had an 18 year old gay male friend who invited me to his dorm room, and his friend was also there. Both if them I was gay and had a girlfriend, but the friend liked me... so my friend left us alone in his room. I considered that a set up for rape whereas they saw it as a "hook up". My gut instinct told me to leave a few minutes after my friend left.

When I worked at a hospital during college, an African guy who worked for Coca Cola stalked me for over a year. He literally followed me home as I worked home from work... I lived about 7 minutes away by foot. He never tried to do anything except talk to me. He was banned from the hospital after he "playfully" slapped my face when I told him I'm a lesbian. Incident was on camera.

kryptokate2 · June 17, 2020, 10:33 p.m. · 1 reply

Yes, I agree that height and size matter. I am tall too and far less afraid, I think, than smaller women. Men are opportunistic little weasels and most of them don't want to actually risk a fight or confrontation so they mostly attempt to prey on the weak...smaller, drunk, or submissive seeming women. Like a lion who targets the smallest and wounded animals, not the one that might injure him in a fight to the death. I guess the moral here is to always APPEAR as if you're someone aggressive who would put up a fight and give a man a lot trouble if he tries anything, whether or not that is actually the case.

censorshipment · June 17, 2020, 10:45 p.m.

Well said, sis. Very good comparison to lions and prey.

jetpatch · June 17, 2020, 2:09 a.m. · 2 replies

The majority of women are never raped.

In the UK it's around 5% of women of have been raped, in the US it's around 20%. So moving countries can help a lot.

40% of rapes happen to children under 16 so if you are an adult your risk is already much lower than it was.

There was a really good rape prevention article put out but police in the UK but they had to take it down because, obviously, feminists see anything like that as blaming women for their rapes and pile on. It listed red flags such as a man trying to isolate you from your friends, trying to claim ownership of you by doing things like putting his arm round you, picking up your coat or bag so you have to let him walk you home, pushing you to drink more. Unfortunately I can't remember them all now.

Basically listen to your gut and follow it. However if you are at constant fear you might not be able to hear it.

Sweetwill_petal · June 17, 2020, 3:22 a.m.

I would be cautious of claiming majority of women are never raped due to the fact that rape is vastly under reported and some may not even realise it is rape till long after

friendlyspottedhyena · June 17, 2020, 3:38 a.m. · 3 replies

The majority of wives and girlfriends are coerced/manipulated and some of them regularly forced to participate in sex in the mentally exhausting institutionalised slavery we call marriage and the nuclear family.

This construct is specifically engineered to weaken the female psyche and render it easier to rape and take advantage of on all accounts.

Women are regularly raped and the world has no idea, not even on this subreddit.

mhandanna · June 17, 2020, 4 a.m.

This is very interesting post, fascinating... it is great content for referencing and showcasing the truth about feminsm and the old trope about bitter angry hair arm pitter being true.... It proves the point that feminsm is based on and relies on women who are quite often mentally ill, disturbed, have PTSD, been abused, raped etc and how unhappy and bitter feminists are.. Its basically femceldom.... feminism relies on victimhood and bitnerss. Comments on male birth control were also good fodder for how bitter and angry some feminstis are, bitching and moaing and blaming men on their periods, menopause, hormonal issues when men have nothing to do with that lol. They were salty that male birth control was an easy gel and wanted men to have fucked up products as they did. Its quite enlightening, this bitterness. I wonder if these feminstis think this every time their on their period, or pee sitting down or something. I wonder the rate of abuse in this reddit too. It must be very high, almost all the feminsits here

Looking from it more depth, dworkins, solanas, were all mentally ill, PTSD, schizophrenia, ugly so had self esteem and body issues, this affected their works... and their works then get read by vulnerable impressionable and often gullible college kids in gender studies courses or in general....and of course this has shaped all of feminism

PanelaRosa · June 17, 2020, 8:30 a.m. · 1 reply

Woah, so if a woman wants to get married, she's a fool brainwashed by the patriarchy into slavery so she can willingly be raped by her husband🤔🤔

Bruh this sub's name is very misleading this is more akin to r/flatearth and its conspiracy trash

Marriage, the tools of patriarchal society to legally rape women....splendid.

XYMoreLikeGoDie · June 17, 2020, 9:06 a.m. · 1 reply

Retard.

PanelaRosa · June 17, 2020, 9:19 a.m. · 1 reply

🧠200 IQ response

XYMoreLikeGoDie · June 17, 2020, 3:06 p.m. · 1 reply

Ok retard. Go commit 22% and join the rest of the dead late term abortions

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Amelia-M-2000 · June 18, 2020, 1:51 a.m.

"the world has no idea"

Actually there are UN statistics showing that 1/3 of women experience an act of physical or sexual violence in their lifetime, but it doesn't get publicity because the media mostly focuses on male causes like female rapists and false accusations

radshiftrr · June 17, 2020, 3:12 a.m.

I want to say no but. I know better; from many many people for whom reporting only has a list of negative consequences.

friendlyspottedhyena · June 17, 2020, 3:33 a.m.

Stay away from men and don't live with them. A large number of wives and girlfriends are raped and sexually violated by their spouse/boyfriend and they're too stupid and uneducated to even know that it is rape because it occurs in marriage. Therapists have to use specific language with women to get them to admit it to it like "force" and "coercion".

The vast majority of rapists are husbands/boyfriends/fathers/brothers/uncles/male friends that have access to you isolated in your own home.

Marriage and the nuclear family truly is institutionalised slavery, which is why marital rape was legal until very recently and is still legal and unpunishable in some US states.

Safe to say, true rape rates are significantly, significantly higher than reported because of this reason. The good thing is that you can simply refuse to cohabit with a male, relative or otherwise, if you're economically independent and spare yourself of the biggest risk.

penelopekitty · June 17, 2020, 6:26 a.m.

I'm 52. When I was younger I was sexually coerced and assaulted multiple times, mostly because I didn't comprehend the depravity of men.

There was one time when I was married and unintentionally drank too much (didn't know how strong the drinks were) that my ex-husband had sex with me when I was passed out. I somewhat came to, realized what he was doing and freaked out. This happened on my honeymoon. I know now that this was rape.

I have never been raped by a stranger or acquaintance, but there were several close calls. My father also attempted to sexually abuse me. Luckily I was old enough to understand what was happening and get away from him.

I have lost count of the number of men who exposed themselves, tried to push boundaries or made disgusting comments to me throughout my life.

I think it is very difficult for women to avoid rape and impossible to avoid sexual abuse. I don't personally know any woman who has escaped it - and I know a lot of women.

Vibrantsun · June 17, 2020, 6:41 a.m. · 1 reply

I've been raped multiple times in my life time. I'm 27. First time I was a little girl "playing" with a boy around the same age. Next time I had blacked out after losing a lot of blood only to wake up realising I was raped.

Every woman I know what been raped in one way or the other.

No I do not think it's possible to escape rape. 99.8% of women have been raped.

Layla-2000 · June 18, 2020, 12:06 a.m.

Do you have a source for “99.8% of women have been raped” so that I can show it to MRAs who claim that more men get raped than women

BubblyBeautiful8 · June 17, 2020, 7:16 a.m.

I was raped when I was younger, but ever since I started actively avoiding men and dressing in oversized, masculine or neutral clothing, I've had far fewer problems. I don't go out at night because I don't like parties anyway, and I stay in populated areas.

Try to never be alone with a male. If you don't have a boyfriend or husband, it should be fairly easy to do. Just avoid any environment where you could be alone with them. Doesn't matter if they seem nice or if they are family or if they are an old sickly grandpa. Never go alone in a room/bus/train/office/bathroom/elevator/anything with a male. I wish someone had told me this earlier in life.

ErikaNaumann · June 17, 2020, 7:54 a.m.

I'm in my 30s and I was never raped. The majority of women are never raped in their lifetime.

Carient · June 17, 2020, 10:15 a.m.

Yeah, I've never even been hit on or stared at by a guy. Though I am unattractive and nonwhite so that's a factor.

TheCanadianMedic · June 17, 2020, 10:26 a.m. · 2 replies

The problem with all this is that you see men as rapists to begin with. Not every man in life will hurt you. There are bad men. But women abuse some men too. To classify all men as rapists is to classify all women as child abusers (since women statistically abuse children more). Please don’t hate men for who they are, hate individuals who commit crimes.

MyNeferTitty · June 17, 2020, 11:20 a.m. · 1 reply

Gtfo rape ape.

TheCanadianMedic · June 17, 2020, 3:13 p.m. · 1 reply

I’m a woman

MyNeferTitty · June 17, 2020, 4:23 p.m. · 1 reply

My bad.

Gtfo rape-ape-loving ape.

TheCanadianMedic · June 17, 2020, 4:33 p.m. · 1 reply

Now that’s just rude. I thought women were supposed to look out for each other? Guess you hate anyone who isn’t like you. I am disappointed in you

MyNeferTitty · June 17, 2020, 5:27 p.m. · 1 reply

If you want brainless kumbaya, go to r/twoxchromosomes or find a rape-ape to do that for you lol.

Continue reading
XYMoreLikeGoDie · June 17, 2020, 2:56 p.m. · 1 reply

Females have lower arrest rates than males for virtually all crime categories except prostitution. This is true in all countries for which data are available. It is true for all racial and ethnic groups, and for every historical period. In the United States, women constitute less than 20 percent of arrests for most crime categories.

Females have even lower representation than males do in serious crime categories. Since the 1960s in the United States, the extent of female arrests has generally been less than 15 percent for homicide and aggravated assault, and less than 10 percent for the serious property crimes of burglary and robbery.

From a variety of sources, it is clear that females are less involved in serious offense categories, and they commit less harm. Women's acts of violence, compared to those of men, result in fewer injuries and less serious injuries. Their property crimes usually involve less monetary loss or less property damage.

ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS.

TheCanadianMedic · June 17, 2020, 3:24 p.m. · 1 reply

Honestly that is untrue. Here is a study. https://childprotectionresource.online/mothers-are-more-likely-to-abuse-children-than-fathers-fact/ this shows that women abuse their kids more than men, although get less punishment and often get custody. Women are privileged, and men are the downtrodden. I feel sorry for you. I genuinely do. If a man has hurt you I’m sorry, but you can’t judge men based on one. If I were to do that here, I’d say that all of us women are spiteful, vindictive, hateful, rude monsters. But we’re not. You can’t judge everyone based on ones actions. I genuinely hope you find someone to talk to because this is not polite at all.

XYMoreLikeGoDie · June 17, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

Lmao look at this pickmeisha. Your statement got refuted in the fucking article that you didn't even bother to fully read.

"1,704 were killed by a mother acting alone. That represents only 0.12% of the 1,452,099 children who are neglected by their mother alone.  For fathers, who by themselves neglected 661,129 children, they killed 0.13% (859). So in terms of parents acting alone, fathers kill MORE children than mothers."

The author even said that the statistics don't show that mothers are more evil and more prone to abuse children than fathers. They said the statistics were showing that mothers are more likely to be in a situation where they will be poor and under stress. This is undoubtedly because of the fucking hellhole of patriarchy that so many women are forced to live with, which is further backed up by the author's inclusion of these facts.

"Half of all absent fathers in the UK pay nothing towards their children. Women are also more likely than men to be victims of violence and abuse from intimate partners."

Moids should be downtrodden, put into gas chambers, and killed. Use their own tactics against them.

chillmorebeersnow · June 17, 2020, 11:16 a.m. · 1 reply

I'm 45 yo and I've never been raped.

But an uncle tried to kiss me in middle school (I slapped him as hard as I could, my aunt and grandma were in the next room so this deterred him). A boy on the school bus grabbed my breasts in middle school and I hit him and got suspended from the bus. My friend's dad tried to kiss me and I slapped the shit out of him (I was15). A man grabbed my crotch at a bar (I was in my early 20's). I stayed away from men for the most part as much as I could. Recently I started a new position at my job and have to interact with men more frequently. There was one male in particular (inappropriate comments, touching) that has caused me to focus on how the patriarchy impacts women's lives.

It's been eye opening. For example, I read a lot and it bothers me that most of the books were written by men. I'm going to spend the rest of my life focusing on women writers. I'd always tried to stay away from men, but I don't think I was conscious of it or why.

Purple5091 · June 18, 2020, 1:38 a.m.

True,well you are so cool,i love how quick you retaliate most girls/women are afraid to hit scrotes even when they deserve it.may i ask:are you just like that or you had older women who knew to put men in their place?

MyNeferTitty · June 17, 2020, 11:26 a.m.

I think that it's possible to avoid rape by avoiding males and especially by not living with them.

It's very uncommon for women to get raped by strangers unless they live in a war zone. Most rapes are committed by moids women marry, befriend, live with.

I don't date and I have never been raped. I was sexually assaulted in school though.

And sexual assault it another matter.

I don't think that it's possible to not get sexually assaulted as long as there are moids walking on this planet.

sadpourtoujours · June 17, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

Even if you escape rape in the traditional sense, you will likely be raped by your male partner. I woke up to one of my exes having sex with my while I was sleeping. I did not and could not consent to that. It was rape. Men assume your body belongs to them if you’re his girlfriend or wife. Wives and girlfriends (and women who submit to be FWBs) are raped by their male partners everyday. Did you see that post about the woman saying her safe word to her boyfriend because she was in pain and he kept going because he was almost finished? That’s rape. Small things like that which women can’t report. Women are not even safe from rape as long as men walk the earth.

TwinPeakMayor · June 17, 2020, 9:09 p.m. · 1 reply

it depends on so many things that are left up to chance. if you're in the middle east you're getting raped.

Layla-2000 · June 18, 2020, 12:14 a.m.

Most countries have rates of lifetime sexual or physical assault close to the global average of 1/3 except for many war-torn countries like South Sudan and Afghanistan which have it closer to 1/2. However even with similar rates some countries are more notorious for violence against women because the judicial system doesn’t help abused women.

kryptokate2 · June 17, 2020, 10:29 p.m. · 1 reply

I'm in my 40s and have never been raped, nor particularly afraid of it. But I am almost 5'10" which I think is helpful as men fuck with and try to intimidate smaller women more often. For whatever reason I have never been particularly afraid of men, most of them will back down immediately if you call them out aggressively and tell them to shut the fuck up and leave you the hell alone. I have definitely had to scream and swear at men in some instances but it has always worked. That said, I have never lived in a rougher neighborhood or country where men might be less afraid and more aggressive.

The sad truth in my opinion is that honestly a lot of women allow themselves to be raped because they do not even fight back or get verbally aggressive. I'm not excusing it at all, but many women are not aggressive enough. In cases when I have been for instance harrassed or groped in public I have LOUDLY said "take your fucking hands off me you disgusting pig" and the guy has always immediately gotten afraid and tried to get away quickly. Most men expect and depend on their ability to intimidate women and that they won't aggress back.

Again, most of my statements probably would not be applicable in countries or places where men are allowed to be more physically aggressive. And I think my height helps a lot even though I am pretty skinny and definitely could not beat up a man. But just getting aggressive in response will scare most of them off, they are opportunistic and as predators they look for vulnerable women and generally are looking for an easy target, not a fight. You can be in danger if they are drunk or on drugs and therefore not as easily inhibited by displays of aggression.

kryptokate2 · June 18, 2020, 12:15 a.m.

I think the take away point is that while most men are very opportunistic and will take any chance where they think they can get away with, they also do not want any consequences are to get caught or injured. So point one is to not get into situations where you are with them and alone and ESPECIALLY not if you are incapacitated in any way such as being drunk. I once had a coworker offer to drive me home after I had foot surgery...what a nice guy right. And yeah, because I was so fucked up from the surgery drugs he took the opportunity to try to look down my surgery gown and tried to hook up with me after he dropped me at home, the pig.

Second, you must never ever present yourself as someone who will not make A LOT of noise and fight back if they try anything. Be loud, be vulgar, be aggressive. That is enough to make most men back away and go look for an easier target.