Black Femininity Training Community on Youtube

Discussion Submitted June 27, 2020, 1:58 p.m. by sendimmediately

Has anyone come across these channels? I just found out they existed this week and I find them disturbing:

How to be more feminine

8 Examples of FORCED & Overdone Feminine Style & Behavior! (effortless femininity secrets)

How To Become More Attractive || A Feminine Impression

They exist for women in general but there has been an explosion in popularity among black women. They claim to be like "virtual finishing" schools to teach black women to project feminine in order to find a well off man to marry.

I understand that the racial politics behind this have to do with black women being told that we are lesser than other women because we are naturally "masculine." It upsets me that instead of working to do away with these patriarchal, eurocentric ideals, a growing number of black women are trying to conform to them even moreso than before.

I feel like so many women are going backwards. The idea of finding a man to provide for you financially seems to be coming back in popularity.

19 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
Snoo_23712 · June 27, 2020, 2:20 p.m. · 1 reply

These are not eurocentric ideals if every race and ethnic group has women teach their daughters how to be feminine, get what they want from men, get protection from men, etc. Black people are backwards and expect women to work, take care of men, protect men, and pop out babies without protection in a financial or physical sense.

sendimmediately · June 27, 2020, 5:04 p.m. · 1 reply

This is not the sub to advocate for teaching women to perform femininity in exchange for protection from men.

Snoo_23712 · June 27, 2020, 5:08 p.m.

There are benefits to being considered feminine and well, female. There are people of all races bashing black women for being un feminine. There’s an entire YouTube industry of it. No other race of women deals with that.

censorshipmentBlack Lesbian · June 27, 2020, 4:27 p.m. · 1 reply

This is some r/WomenSurvivalGuide shit

sendimmediately · June 27, 2020, 5:05 p.m.

Sad state of affairs.

critical_of_WR · June 27, 2020, 4:33 p.m.

Unfortunately these are not Eurocentric standards. There is not a single racial group that enjoys a woman with masculine energy. This means that in every culture women are taught early to confirm to standards of feminine energy so that we can be protected by men, and similarly take care of our men's needs, etc.

margiejamison · June 27, 2020, 4:39 p.m. · 2 replies

Totally agree. People are saying it isn’t eurocentric but my girl is tucking her straightened hair behind her ear in the screenshot alone, which is not something any woman of significant West African descent ever needs to do to keep her hair out of her face. I didn’t even watch the actual video and I can already see evidence of the eurocentricity. Don’t let them gaslight you.

sendimmediately · June 27, 2020, 5:03 p.m.

Thanks I was very confused by the top rated comment. Do you people realize we're on a radical feminist sub?

The ideal of femininity being pushed IS based on what white people find feminine. Yes femininity is encouraged by most cultures but the brand that we have in the West is very much based on white women.

critical_of_WR · June 27, 2020, 6:46 p.m. · 1 reply

I am of West African descent, Nigerian actually, and my hair doesn't grow outward. Because of the thickness it grows down.

I do think that Black women are pressured to conform to European standards in Western world perhaps, but because I grew up so strongly rooted in my culture, what constitutes a feminine woman has never really been rooted in being close to European. We do however have a very patriarchal culture though so s

margiejamison · June 27, 2020, 7:56 p.m. · 1 reply

Way to miss the point.

critical_of_WR · June 27, 2020, 8:40 p.m. · 1 reply

I get the point, trust me I do, but I am just saying that it is a bit damaging when it is suggested that West African women look a particular way that is monolithic. What you may be thinking of is Ghanaian or Yoruba women, but West African women can look diverse.

I just cringe because the idea that West African women look a certain way is used to denigrate my own ethnic tribe within Nigeria, where we are called a "lost Jewish tribe" because sometimes our phenotype looks a bit different in some of the states we come from. Yet it is not the case that we are anything other than Black, if we originated from Nigeria.

However, yes, I understand that the phenotype of many West African women is the anti-thesis of European beauty, and therefore, when Black women present a narration of how to be feminine and present European products to present ourselves to close to Eurocentric standards that it insinuates that Black women are masculine, and that we need to change our outward appearance to come close to the idealistic version of Western femininity.

margiejamison · June 28, 2020, 1:02 a.m.

West Africa has a history of Arab and other nonblack colonization and migration, so intermixing is to be expected. I would be surprised to learn that this is not at the root of phenotype distinctions among various ethnic identities.

Many American black women also do not have a typical West African phenotype while they still consider themselves fully black (and ethnically, they are) but they have genetic ancestry that is not African.

Bad_Girl_Lala · June 27, 2020, 5:11 p.m. · 1 reply

It upsets me that instead of working to do away with these patriarchal, eurocentric ideals, a growing number of black women are trying to conform to them even moreso than before.

It upsets me too. I understand what they think they're doing. Men give us power thru femininity, but its a false power that's dependent on men's benevolence and good will- and we all know how reliable that is.

I feel like so many women are going backwards.

It's so bizarre to see stuff like this and the FDS sub being thrown now around like it's empowering. It's literally benevolent sexism 101 and how we were taught to be as women. Just go read books like The Rules which was written 20yrs ago. Did libfemism fuck shit up so bad that women are desperate to go back to that!

sendimmediately · June 27, 2020, 6:45 p.m.

I guess we have to expect these setbacks because women have had to operate under patriarchy brain for thousands of years. Change is scary.

My2ndBurnerPhone · June 27, 2020, 7:12 p.m. · 1 reply

It so damn tiring. Hyper Femininity will not save us!! There was a freaking post on tumblr that almost made me rage the other day. And then I saw a similar post on Lip Stick Alley. It was advice for writers. The vibe was basically that black women need less saving themselves and more damsels in distress rolls.

I was like no baby why!!!

Its Chrissie's whole lane on youtube. I don't watch her femininity stuff anymore (never bought into it) but do what her divesting videos. She makes some good points.

Pugsnotdrugs411 · June 29, 2020, 9:44 a.m.

She doesn’t buy into the trans stuff and her divesting videos are solid that’s the only reason I give her clicks. This femininity coaching bullshit is cringe as hell and I wish women with platforms would stop pushing it. The black community is always one step behind everyone else in terms of our ideas about gender roles 🙄

shortsmallandsweet · June 27, 2020, 10:15 p.m.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to tap more into your feminine side, it becomes an issue when you are doing it to appease other people.

Snoo_23712 · June 29, 2020, 11:45 a.m.

There's a reason the trans lobby keeps trying to put black women and trans women in the same category. There is a worldwide perception of black woman as masculine, ugly, not female plain and simple. Countering that would help the image of black women and maybe less police and men in public would feel comfortable hitting black women with skateboards or intimidating black women knowing damn well nobody will come to her aid.

celestialpiMixed Race Bisexual · June 29, 2020, noon

This makes me really depressed