i dont want to be a woman

Submitted June 6, 2020, 10 a.m. by TwoGayBirbs

I CANT WITH THIS BULLSHIT, I HATE BEING FEMALE, MY PERIODS HAVE BEEN BOTHERING ME AND IS THE MAIN PURPOSE OF NOT WANTING TO BE A GIRL, im asexual, i have no interest in sex or getting kids. i feel like periods have no fucking meaning, males have it so much easier biologically i just want to be one, ive never got to choose to be a female, i want to be a male. im very young and knowing living with periods for 30 more years is DESRROYING ME. I CANT WITH THIS I WANT TO BE A MALE. ive always been shut out of female groups in school and i find males more fun to be around. and they wont let me be with them because of my gender. i just want to die at this point. I NEVER WANTED TO BE A FEMALE MY ENTIRE LIFE. I JUST CANT

12 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
54321_Sun · June 7, 2020, 10:26 a.m.

I would ask you to first take a breath. :-) The all-caps is telling me you have lost it. And as one who has lost it many times, I can relate.

So after taking a few deep breaths and getting grounded, I'd like to ask you- why do you think it's so hard to be a woman? And do you think it's fair to hate yourself because of those things?

Do you really think that the entire universe in all of evolution up until this point is wrong? Do you think being female is actually wrong when it comes to the physical world (not culture)?

The point I'm trying to make is that the only problem with being a woman is our culture. If you start to realize that, or shall I say, when I started to realize that, it became much easier to accept my body for exactly what it is, a beautiful organic organism that was created from Millenia of cell division.

And so now I could give a rip what uneducated cultural idiots say about my sex. We are beautiful bodies, we are animals, and your female body is exactly what it is supposed to be.

Fuck the haters that have made you hate being female. I am so sorry for whatever fucked up culture you grew up in that has taught you to hate yourself. I get it, I grew up on the US South, and the sexism seems to be getting worse instead of better.

As for the pain of menstruation, make sure you're vigorously exercising, drinking lots of water, and taking vitamins, as well as trying to eat as well as you can with not a lot of salt. Those steps will help a lot.

Fitncurly · June 6, 2020, 1:34 p.m.

I’m so sorry you are struggling so much right now. It’s the history of misogyny leading up to this very moment in your life that makes it all feel so unbearable—if menses was celebrated worldwide historically instead of shunned and shamed for instance, I’m sure you’d feel quite differently, even with the physical pains of it. Why? Because when we suffer but we are celebrated, we are heroes and it gives the suffering meaning(think soldiers and giving birth), but when we suffer and are shamed for that same suffering, it is an empty existence and an injustice, like in the cases of sexism and racism. People forced to suffer and then be shamed for their very suffering—it’s enough to make anyone angry. I urge you to try to find peace through spirituality of some sort and therapy. You must get to the root of it. Then you can move forward. There IS another side to this. You can get there. I am a woman who 100% loves every fiber and aspect of being an adult human female—I love my feminine form and power. And we DO have power, don’t let your oppressors tell you otherwise, else they wouldn’t be so vested in holding women down worldwide. I’m here if you wanna talk, stay strong 💪🏼✊🏼

dahmerloveszombies · June 6, 2020, 12:47 p.m.

The males you hang out with may be fun to be around, but they won’t have your back in the end. Signed, older woman who was a lot like you once.

oakbalance · June 6, 2020, 9:26 a.m. · 1 reply

I wonder if this may be part of gender dysphoria? I support trans folkx (many agender or non-binary) and the physical experience of gender is usually triggering - think the start of menstruation when your gender identity is not female.

Whether or not trans identity is a piece of your experience, there are safe ways to stop or decrease the frequency of a period. Perhaps talk with a doc to discuss options for changing the frequency of you period?

RoomyShoespatriarchy isn’t going to smash itself · June 6, 2020, 3:08 p.m.

I think you are lost. There is no physical experience of gender, unless you want to talk about uncomfortable high heeled shoes. Gender identity is an idea in the mind. It's a philosophy or a religion. It's not part of material reality.

Menstruation is biological. It's quite normal for girls and women to hate it. It's a painful, monthly inconvenience. It would be more helpful if a doctor could figure out why she is experiencing pain and solve the root cause. It's not supposed to hurt.

acousticbruises · June 6, 2020, 8:31 a.m.

Being female comes witn burdens, but almost assuradly better than being male. I'm sorry menstruation is frustrating to you. There are ways to skip your period using birth control (and its totally healthy to do so). You don't have to have sex or kids either. You're gonna be ok!

lorrus · June 6, 2020, 7:53 a.m.

I'm a woman - I hate my periods but they serve a biological purpose. I can't wait for menopause.

You don't need to be male to be asexual, plenty of women are asexual, plenty of men are asexual. You can just be you, an asexual. You're not obliged to have children, even if you are a woman.

My only experience is being female, I loath it, but I love it. I love challenging the ass*%les who hate women. I enjoy showing the boys up, and the men. I love demonstrating every day, that my existence matters, to me, to my loved ones. How do I do all this? I just am me.

You should see a counselor about your anger and distress about being female. Being angry about how the DNA dice rolled is not helpful, but getting a counselor and talking about why you feel this way, what has happened (if anything) to make you feel this way will absolutely help. Best of luck and stay safe.

NitzMitzTrix · June 6, 2020, 5:53 a.m. · 1 reply

There are benefits for being a woman. Males are socialized into an inflated sense of superiority and a defensiveness about their privilege that parallels no other. Women who refuse to bow down and accept the moral, physical and mental inferiority society labels on us are more resistant to the pitfalls of male "rationality".

Periods are honestly not as bad as society makes it out to be unless you've got a condition like PCOS or endo. There's better ways to manage the flow and in my experience once you de-condition the self-disgust and shame, mental symptoms lessen.

TerfsAreBased · June 6, 2020, 8:01 a.m. · 1 reply

There are benefits for being a woman.

What are those benefits?

NitzMitzTrix · June 6, 2020, 8:03 a.m.

Wisdom. Intelligence. A view of the world that doesn't revolve around our genitalia.

TerfsAreBased · June 6, 2020, 5:38 a.m. · 1 reply

Same here

friendlyspottedhyena · June 6, 2020, 12:15 p.m.

I'm genuinely curious, would you sincerely prefer to be a man in this world? Ditch the moral disgust and look at it from a clearly objective perspective, would you?