Weekly Open Thread: Bulletins, chat, advice, personal stories, activism reports, questions, concerns, etc

OPEN THREAD Submitted Nov. 25, 2019, 4:36 a.m. by AutoModerator

Time to take up this week's Open Thread with topics chosen by you, our subscribers, 40,000 strong and growing. Post and discuss any topic!

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48 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
AutoModeratorfemininity is ritualized submission · Nov. 25, 2019, 4:36 a.m.

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Feminist_Username · Nov. 25, 2019, 8:52 a.m.

I Brittney 2007'd last night (shaved my head for the babes among us) and I feel so light and free. Im a little worried about my partner's family's reaction at Thanksgiving but I'm pre-preparing responses such as "Woah!! Where'd all my hair go?!?!" And "I did it to offed you personally. Did it work?"

womenopausalthe radical notion that women don't have penises · Nov. 25, 2019, 9:03 a.m. · 1 reply

Maya Forstater posted a brilliant twitter thread on how mainstream women's charities/orgs are losing support because they won't take a position on gender issues. If you're on twitter, check it out, and follow her because she's amazing.

(I hate twitter so much, but I love radfem twitter more.)

Lilith_Dark_Mercy · Nov. 25, 2019, 9:25 a.m.

memorizes name. Goes to Twitter sees "Mays Forstater retweeted..."

Oh, I guess I already do.

womenopausalthe radical notion that women don't have penises · Nov. 25, 2019, 9:47 a.m. · 1 reply

News from the UK: Finally, the Women's Equality Party have issued a statement on sex-based rights and they're attracting signatures. Now, every UK party bar the Tories (who aren't going for Self-ID anyway now) has a GC faction within it. The SNP was first, then Labour, Greens and the LibDems. We're becoming a force that they won't be able to ignore any more.

sa7ira · Nov. 26, 2019, 3:35 p.m. · 1 reply

That's great news! I'm really impressed with British women's grassroots campaigning. It's inspiring.

womenopausalthe radical notion that women don't have penises · Nov. 26, 2019, 3:41 p.m. · 1 reply

In fact, the Tories followed up yesterday so now we have all of the major parties with some kind of GC faction, with only minor nationalist groups excepted. Turning the fuckin tide on this jenda bollocks innit. 󾓪

sa7ira · Nov. 26, 2019, 3:45 p.m.

Well done! It's great to see the Tories back-pedalling.

(comment deleted or removed) · 2 replies
TwatchWaffle · Nov. 25, 2019, 6:36 p.m.

Isn't it horrid that saying something as shocking as you're a lesbian who only wants to be with other women requires an alt account to avoid all the hate and possible bans that would come your way for saying it? How many decades in time has the trans movement sent us back as a society seemingly overnight? SMH.

arnaq · Nov. 25, 2019, 9:30 p.m.

It goes faster than you might think :) reality is like a breath of fresh air. welcome

trawid2016 · Nov. 25, 2019, 10:24 p.m. · 1 reply

Just found out my ex changed his name legally to a female name. So now do I have an ex wife? If I am referring to our marriage out and about am I going to be attacked if I use male pronouns by the woke people? What if I refer to him by his dead name as being the person I was married to? Am I transphobic for that?

gatitabuena · Nov. 27, 2019, 11:12 a.m.

GC does not mean transphobic. That's what liberal feminists and TRAs want you to believe.

meow_thug · Nov. 25, 2019, 11:35 p.m. · 4 replies

TW: Graphic mention of sexual harassment.

Hi everyone - I work in a male prison. Been shut out of my science/politics groups on facebook due to being a "bigot" by voicing my concerns about the assumption that anyone ID'ing as female deserves the right to be in a female prison.

Tonight on my shift, a trans woman inmate housed in a safe area just screamed at a female nurse dispensing his meds that he was going to "c*m in her face".

Yeah, this inmate totally should be housed with vulnerable WOMEN inmates with an almost guaranteed history of sexual abuse. Silence me about my FIRSTHAND perspective on it. I am raging. Not even because of this sick fuck and what he screams at women, but for the ongoing silencing and ostracizing I receive for talking about it.

Thank you for this space. I have only become louder.

GCMadamXX · Nov. 25, 2019, 11:42 p.m. · 1 reply

Quillette or Post Millennial might be interested in doing a piece about your experience with trans prisoners.

meow_thug · Nov. 26, 2019, 12:38 p.m.

Yes!

Vaal-Namielle · Nov. 26, 2019, 11:09 a.m. · 1 reply

I am raging. Not even because of this sick fuck.

I mean, you can be raging at both. Don't limit yourself like that lol.

meow_thug · Nov. 26, 2019, 12:40 p.m.

You're absolutely right lol. It's just easy to condescend to them when they're behind bars, disempower them by completely ignoring the hateful words they use to get a rise out of us. It's the non criminal so called feminists silencing me that is new for me.

womenopausalthe radical notion that women don't have penises · Nov. 26, 2019, 11:19 p.m.

JFC. Keep records on this guy. Maybe some kind of formal complaint?

WimminCritter · Nov. 27, 2019, 1:09 p.m. · 1 reply

Are there any repercussions for abusing staff like that? I assume it would influence the likelihood of early release if nothing else.

meow_thug · Nov. 27, 2019, 1:13 p.m.

The inmate is segregated when he's acting like a POS, and when he's on good behaviour he gets to go to the mental health range. There is nothing we can really do about the verbal abuse, he was in seg when he said this to the nurse. This stuff rolls off our backs for the most part, it's easy to condescend and take away his power by ignoring him when he's powerless in seg like that. It's amazing how bringing up this topic in my facebook groups (I got banned from) had one TRA so "triggered"; UGH THIS THREAD IS SO TOXIC and it's hurting my mental health!!!" I'd pay a lot of money to see this person try to do my job for 20 minutes. Using the word "triggered" because someone says people with penises don't belong in women's prisons.... it's pathetic at best.

tervacious · Nov. 26, 2019, 11:41 a.m.

Help me out here people. I can't remember what thread it was on but one of the brilliant women on this sub wrote a comparison of what's going on in the left now with the Iranian revolution. How women who helped overthrow the shah got turned on when the AK returned to the country and turned it into a theocracy. Women today are on the brink of something similar in a lot of places, once supporting LGBT and being turned on and ground down by the T because the strong subjugates the weak and men gonna men. Your comment was brilliant, disturbing, and accurate.

JohnMayerInABearSuit · Nov. 26, 2019, 5:24 p.m. · 1 reply

Should I wait to quit my current job(I’ve only been there 2 weeks) now or wait till my new job starts in two weeks. I’m indifferent about my current job but it’s about to be a busy time and I’d feel bad about leaving them short if I left now. But I do want take a break and I have a lot to do before my new job starts(background checks, security clearances, and a mountain of paperwork) and I’m personally busy and I just got a part in play.

I don’t know what to do.

morningtea50 · Nov. 27, 2019, 9:10 a.m.

A friend of mine was always polite but ruthless about her career and I always respected her for that. Looking back, I wish I had been less nice and less of a team player and just quit right away when a job wasn’t working.

(comment deleted or removed) · 1 reply
terf_fret · Nov. 27, 2019, 10:18 p.m.

Damn good point.

(comment deleted or removed) · 1 reply
womenopausalthe radical notion that women don't have penises · Nov. 27, 2019, 4:51 a.m. · 1 reply

Are you aware of r/itsafetish? They may 'like' to see this.

vierkeervijf · Nov. 27, 2019, 5:56 a.m. · 3 replies

Thanks. I'll post it over there.

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:04 a.m.

Autism ftw

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:05 a.m.

Weirdly girls with autism don't have that. Weird.

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:06 a.m.

Hey maybe it's cos they're MEN

genuskritisk · Nov. 27, 2019, 6:49 a.m.

"Presenting as female" equals being female, apparently:

It is rude and to ask a female-presenting person if they are trans. whether they are or not, you suggesting that they have masculine characteristics when they are clearly presenting as fem could be hurtful.

genuskritisk · Nov. 27, 2019, 6:52 a.m.

"Presenting as female" equals being female, apparently:

It is rude and to ask a female-presenting person if they are trans. whether they are or not, you suggesting that they have masculine characteristics when they are clearly presenting as fem could be hurtful.

womenopausalthe radical notion that women don't have penises · Nov. 27, 2019, 9:26 a.m.

This article is not precisely on GC topics but it's very much related. I was tossing up posting it so decided to compromise by posting it here. It's extremely good.

Is crip the new queer? Disability activists who look to queer theory for their politics end up limiting their real transgressive potential

gatitabuena · Nov. 27, 2019, 11:09 a.m.

I went to an event recently honoring local women. Super excited to go. Women centric events can be awesome.

... Then I got there. This year's them was including men. Keynote was by a man running a women's centric company where he opened talking about all the women in his life, the women who worked for his company, and all these tropes that have been repeated about getting more women involved in leadership opportunities while never once name checking any of the women he helped or the names of high ranking women in his company. Two more male speakers with same theme. Then to top off all this wonderfulness, all the women honorees were given gift bags that only included high end makeup samples.

(That doesn't even get into the whole sea of whiteness issues.)

It was very disturbing. :(

lonelycybersoul · Nov. 27, 2019, 12:11 p.m. · 2 replies

It’s risky for me to post on here because a lot of people in my year use reddit, and I know this discussion has probably been done to death. But today I told my two teachers and my entire debate class that only men can rape. I was informed that what I was saying was controversial and factually incorrect. Apparently, the law is “dumb” and “women can rape too!!” I don’t understand if I’m wrong or right? I’m just so confused and would like some help understanding this.

WimminCritter · Nov. 27, 2019, 2:04 p.m. · 1 reply

It sounds like your classmates are confusing rape with other forms of sexual assault.

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:07 a.m.

The internet was a bad idea

GCMadamXX · Nov. 27, 2019, 3:30 p.m. · 2 replies

It depends on the law where you are. In some places "rape" is very narrowly defined as nonconsensual penetration of the vagina by the penis. In that case, yes, only males can rape.

In other places rape is any non consensual penetration (with objects or fingers etc) so either males or females can rape either males or females.

In still other places the term "rape" is not even used legally but rather "sexual assault" and there are then degrees of sexual assault depending on what happened.

But the fact remains that males commit over 90% of the sexual assaults in the world.

lonelycybersoul · Nov. 27, 2019, 5:29 p.m.

I'm in the UK. Thanks for the clarification.

But the fact remains that males commit over 90% of the sexual assaults in the world.

I don't know why men feel so entitled. It's so sickening.

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:08 a.m.

Facts

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Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:09 a.m.

Funny that. Hey maybe it's a man's world

terf_fret · Nov. 27, 2019, 10:22 p.m.

Shower thought: how come South Park hasn't done anything on drag kids? They've done for pageant girls, and transgender, why not this? It's written itself.

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:02 a.m.

Why don't we physically harm them. Incels do shit to destroy women for revenge. Why aren't we more vengeful?

Banksiatree · Nov. 28, 2019, 5:20 a.m.

They like winding us up. It's like a pastime for them

Claireftaine · Nov. 29, 2019, 3:27 a.m.

I’m much more “moderate” on these issues than I once was, but.

Reading about UK pride in 2015 banning (cisgendered) drag queens because it’s an grotesque mockery of femininity and is offensive to...transwomen.