Exhausted
Submitted June 28, 2020, 4:06 a.m. by Girl4973I am so exhausted from trying to respond to all of the anti-blackness I have witnessed in this group. I joined the group because I appreciate that you ladies were the only voice of reason regarding topics of transgenderism and the liberation of women.
But I can see that for many of you your racial background or identity of being white, is far more powerful the reason and the want to support black women and their liberation too.
Reading a lot of you comments on racial issue really disappointed me and has really led me to being that white feminist really want what is best for white women. They don’t care bout how the racial component effects me as a black women.
And I hate to say it, white fragility is alive and well here. I am not here to silence anyone, because hey, it’s y’all group I guess. I am just a visitor in your world.
But, a lot of you really let me down in a big way today.
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Can you give an example of what you mean? As a black woman, this worries me, but I haven’t seen what you’re describing and feel I may be missing something.
Generally speaking, I do feel that being a black feminist is difficult due to racism, just as being a black woman fighting against racism is hard due to the added sexism present in the black community. We’re in an extremely difficult spot.
I am referring to posts centered around race and the whole Karen term as well.
It's not racist to find the Karen meme offensive. Karen is used to delegate white women who dare to have children. It's also used to dismiss women who make independent ideas about raising their children, "look at Karen, she homeschools and didn't give her children all their vaccinations and she questions doctors".
Or has an ugly haircut and/or dares to be over 30.
I am not saying that men haven’t highjacked the Karen narrative however, Karen represents privileged white women, who are oblivious or plain don’t care about the rights of people of color especially black people.
It’s about a light finally being shown on this type of women who have been using authorities such as the police and other systems of power as an attack dog to do the dirty work for them.
Through history in America white women have been seen as angelic and pure objects to be protected from the black brut or buck. Since slavery white women have used this “power” for their own benefit even though underneath it all the she was and is ultimately upholding and racist patriarchy system.
That still spills over today and shows it self in most of these women depicted in these videos.
They have this, “How dare you question me, look at me, talked sassy at me, I am a white women” mentally.
White feminist shouldn’t be posting discussion groups about a term used for women functioning with this mentally.
White feminist, need to be doing more to be anti-racist feminist.
It’s just like Christians highjacking the feminist movement with regards to transgendered issues. And TRAs trying to align rad gems with the far right.
Christian May try to align themselves with feminist, yes it happened, but that is besides the point, we can’t control that. We have to ask ourselves what is the real issue feminist are trying to communicate and does it make sense, period.
If the term Karen came completely derail the overall message for white women, then y’all living good.
But are you listening to yourself. Everyone struggles, I know. But you are talking about white women being judged for decisions to homeschool, vaccinations and questioning doctors. Do you know that many black women don’t even have the ... ok.
And maybe I am not in your spaces, but where are all these memes and videos about abuse survivors and being referred to as Karen. I am not saying it doesn’t happen, but come on really?
I completely 100% agree with you. If a black woman decides to homeschool and not vaccinate some narcissistic busybody will probably get on the phone to CPS. However it's also often the same case of Hispanic or white women from a lower socio economic class. Middle class white women are the most privileged of women, but that doesn't mean that prejudice suddenly becomes OK.
Black woman here. I simply scroll past the Karen posts. I don't think that's an example of white women "only wanting what's best for themselves". It's a thing that has been spreading through the internet like wildfire as of late. It's a very relevant topic.
You can always create posts inviting discussion around the topics you want. That's how this place works. I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable with a bunch of white women writing posts on race/sex, if they don't actually have the experience. Lead the way, create the content you want to see. I promise there are tons of minority/ethnic posters on here.
Thank you for the response. It just sucks that even in this group one can’t be free. But I get what you are saying. And I would imagine that there are many white women on her who know what it is. They need to be more vocal about refocusing the conversation. Black women and other women of color can’t always carry that burden. It’s a lot and exhausting.
It’s like no matter how liberal or radical you are race is the Achilles heel of white folk.
I am going to take a break.
i don't think we have an issue with karen being used in its original meaning - to call out racist white women for being racist. but you have to acknowledge that the term has been stolen by misogynists to attack women for everything from speaking up against their abusers to existing while having an ugly hairstyle.
People of color can’t control that. Anyone can highjack anyone’s movement. What are we going to do about that. Many of the women on this network have spend all this time going on and on about something we can’t control, to leave feminist of color in this very group feel alienated, exhausted and voiceless. I was going to share this group with some black women i know, but I know but decided against it because I don’t want to pass around this feeing that this has give me. I hate to say it, but it true and white feminist tend to do this a lot, when we try to join and work together.
at this point it just sounds like you are insisting that women shouldn't criticize misogyny. no one is saying it is poc's fault - we are just stating that men are now using it to be misogynistic without facing repercussions. by all means call out racism, call white women karens when they are being racist, it's all fine - but understand that when women here bring it up - it's to point out the misogyny, not to uphold racism. we here acknowledge the struggles of black people and black women especially.
What I read didn’t sound like criticizing misogyny, but defending ones own group of white women.
obviously i have no idea what you saw, but if it was racist you could've reported it to moderators.
if you feel like this space is too white centric, maybe you can make your own gencrit sub that centers black women and their issues more, if you feel like it. i'm certain this sub would support that and even help you with it.
I’m sorry you feel voiceless here. I enjoy reading everyone’s perspectives.
I hope that you find a group where you feel at home if this isn’t the right one for you.
Your sorry does nothing for me. I need you to do better.
And miss me with that “Hope you find a group...” really!?!?
If someone is telling you they feel voiceless in a group that is suppose to give voice to the unheard, don’t say sorry, just commit to doing better. And I place that same expectation upon myself.
I like listening to different perspectives, but the white perspective is always Queen in these spaces. The house always wins.
But I shouldn’t worry, I should just go find another group, where my black female words can have a voice, right?
What the hell do you want me to say other than “Fuck yeah! Women should love being called Karen regardless of who is saying it.”
If that is the voice you want heard, I’m not interested.
Nobody is denying that black women suffer more on average for being black.
However if I complain here about white women and white teen girls from foster care and broken homes being raped by Muslim men or throughout western Europe everyone jumps up and down and calls me a racist. Rotherham anyone? Funny I have never really seen that mentioned here.
If I point out that Islam is misogynist everyone jumps up and calls me a racist.
Wow. Just wow.
Sounds like trolling to me. I'd like mods to pass judgement.
Firstly, I am not cursing at you. Secondly, I expect you to be able to know when a conversation is being highjacked and how to redirect the attention to the message at hand, instead of depending women how weaponize their white femaleness.
People are angry because people have been infantilizing them for year.
I expect you not to dismiss me, with some fake “I sorry .... I hope you find another group...”
I want you all to finally get it! I know I can find another group, or start a group. I am not asking you if or how to do it. I need you all to stop with the underhanded dismissiveness.
What!?!?! Are you serious?!?