Endometriosis group is transphobic???

Submitted June 28, 2020, 10:55 a.m. by isabellaluna

I have severe endometriosis and am part of a local group on Facebook for people with endo that calls itself a sisterhood. Tonight it has devolved into people saying calling it a sisterhood is transphobic and exclusionary, and that even babes would be too feminine. I go to this group for support often, it is one of the only spaces I can be open with my health. I can’t respond to comments supporting the group name without being called a TERF or transphobic and being kicked out of the one supportive space I have. I am just fucking over this bullshit taking over women’s health and a condition that is already doubted and ignored beyond belief and dismissed as “just bad cramps” and “periods are meant to hurt it’s normal”. Sorry for ranting I just needed to let this out. Just over being dismissed for my health and now being scared to talk about it without losing friends and support

44 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
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inpieces1 · June 28, 2020, 10:56 a.m. · 1 reply

Part of an Endo group too and they shared the same thing the other day. Absolute shite 😂

tradwyfe · June 28, 2020, 2:41 p.m. · 1 reply

Yeah I have another account I use for more “safe” activities including being part of the endo sub here on reddit. Someone posted something the other day, she got a lot of positive comments, then she like deleted the post and wrote a new one rabidly apologising for how her language could have been transphobic since she had talked only about “women” with endo and sorry sorry sorry, she was just sooooo sorry. It was soooo weird. Literally NO ONE had called her out. She was from Canada I think. Wacko.

frogswife · June 28, 2020, 8:29 p.m.

Canadians are wacko.

It's a freaking joke over here

isabellaluna · June 28, 2020, 11 a.m.

I mostly lurk around here and have been banned from a subreddit for even liking here. Being called transphobic because I call endometriosis a women’s health issue is honestly just the final shove I need to stop being silent or just to break the cloud that pandering to those who say “endometriosis is for everyone” and “men can have endometriosis” isn’t worth it anymore and just makes things worse for those who suffer from such a fucking shit disease that diminishes quality of life beyond anything.

Aromatic-Salamander1Woman · June 28, 2020, 11:31 a.m. · 1 reply

For fuck's sake. Like you're not going through enough hardship by having endometriosis? Now you have to police your language in a group that is clearly inhabited by only XX women? This is ridiculous. It just goes to show they're all a bunch of narcissists. ME ME ME. They're just jealous they can't get endometriosis, and that's messed up.

bjwindow2thesoul · June 28, 2020, 7:10 p.m. · 1 reply

They're talking about trans men with endometriosis though. I guess calling it a sisterhood could come off as excluding trans men but I don't think it was meant transphobic

Elle-laments · June 28, 2020, 7:22 p.m.

Transmen with female bodies aka women. Are they banned from joining the group? No? They aren't excluded. If the language offends them so much, transmen are free to start their own group. 🤷‍♀️

ap1indoorsoncomputer · June 28, 2020, 11:49 a.m.

They are so fucking INSANE I don't even have a coherent or pithy response to this.

toadaleh · June 28, 2020, 11:50 a.m. · 1 reply

The solution is simple, let the TiF form their own endo support group. That way they can talk about their bodies in a way that they are all comfortable with, and everyone else can just get on with things without having to police their language.

ThatstealthygalFemale human · June 28, 2020, 6:51 p.m. · 1 reply

It would be good if there were multiple groups, some for women with endo and some for people with endo. Then users can find the most comfortable place for them to talk.

Elle-laments · June 28, 2020, 7:23 p.m.

Literally No one is stopping transmen from doing this.

ap1indoorsoncomputer · June 28, 2020, 11:51 a.m. · 1 reply

btw OP I just checked and there's r/endometriosis which looks pretty active.

tradwyfe · June 28, 2020, 3:10 p.m. · 2 replies

It is. I’m a member via my other username which I use for “safe” stuff LOL. We had a similar incident there though the other day. Someone posted something, got lots of positive comments, then wrote a new post begging for forgiveness bc she had only spoken of “women” with endo, and that was “so transphobic” of her and could we ever forgive her, and how could she forgive herself and blahblah. It was so weird and unnecessary. Literally no one has given her a hard time. It was self flagellation.

ap1indoorsoncomputer · June 28, 2020, 3:16 p.m.

Oh for God's sake!

KilgurlTrout · June 28, 2020, 9:50 p.m.

Did it seem like others actually viewed her as transphobic? Or are they pretty chill over there?

My endo group got weird a while ago and it would be nice to find another online community.

freshfew · June 28, 2020, 11:53 a.m.

It's so sad when a group that is entirely made up of women thinks they need to police themselves on behalf of people who aren't even present and likely will never be.

ForsakenProfession · June 28, 2020, 11:57 a.m. · 1 reply

These horrid men will not leave any woman alone, will they? They truly are the worst misogynists.

lbdpunk · June 28, 2020, 3:08 p.m.

I can see you're trying to insult trans women, but it's not trans women in these spaces. It's cis women, trans men and non-binary people with endometriosis.

Dumb_VelvetGirls Girls Girls? You means TIMs TIMs TIMs? · June 28, 2020, 12:21 p.m. · 2 replies

My friend has a really bad case of endo (plus ovarian cysts too, yay!) and it is a unique phenomena to women. Why must those trans have to fight to be included in every remotely female phenomenon?? I wish we had a magic wand to give periods to all those wannabe ''girls''. Lets see how long they will still claim to be women.

bjwindow2thesoul · June 28, 2020, 7:08 p.m. · 2 replies

It's not about that, it's about trans men who get endometriosis. But unless they're purposefully excluding trans men from their group I don't see how it's transphobic

Dumb_VelvetGirls Girls Girls? You means TIMs TIMs TIMs? · June 28, 2020, 7:12 p.m. · 1 reply

No ones excluding transmen and it isn’t about them getting endo. It is literally them saying that “sisterhood” is “transphobic” when it’s about as transphobic as a ice cream.

bjwindow2thesoul · June 28, 2020, 8:10 p.m.

Well if they were to say only women could get endometriosis and trans men couldn't be part of their sisterhood, that would be transphobic and excluding trans men. But simply calling it a sisterhood if the specific community doesn't have trans men in it isn't transphobic imo. It seemed from your comment you thought it was about trans women being jealous or something of endo?

daughter_of_bilitispeace in patriarchy is war against women · June 28, 2020, 7:55 p.m. · 1 reply

Yeah, I feel like a lot of these comments are assuming it's TIMs complaining about the group, when my assumption is the same as yours - it's that TIFs are upset they see the word "sisterhood" when "i'm A mAn AnD I hAvE enDo"

Big hint: if you have Endo, you're absolutely not a man.

bjwindow2thesoul · June 28, 2020, 8:12 p.m. · 1 reply

Bruh you started out so well and then you turned super transphobic wtf

daughter_of_bilitispeace in patriarchy is war against women · June 28, 2020, 8:14 p.m.

Acknowledging biological sex is not transphobic and frankly, you're on the wrong sub if you disagree with that

Adept-Wave · June 29, 2020, 11:39 a.m. · 1 reply

That’s not what’s happening here - the idea is that “transmen” get endo, not that “trans women” do. Thus, “men can have endo” and “it’s not just a woman’s condition”

Dumb_VelvetGirls Girls Girls? You means TIMs TIMs TIMs? · June 29, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

It is a woman’s condition. Unless you’re a person with XX chromosomes, a functioning uterus and lot of bad luck tbh, they will not get it. That excludes men from that condition. Men don’t get endo or periods, bio sex is real and the Pope is a Catholic! ✌️

lissomelight42 · June 28, 2020, 12:57 p.m.

I'm so sorry, they're a bunch of narcissistic, entitled assholes.

RadarFemef · June 28, 2020, 2:51 p.m.

Fuck that. Seriously.

villanelle23eve · June 28, 2020, 3:56 p.m. · 3 replies

That sucks, but everyone has different associations with terms like "sisterhood." It's not only trans men who would dislike the term. I think you need to be mindful and support other women if they have any internalizedmisogyny as well. They deserve a to feel welcome in the space too. "Woman" is a term useful for politics, on a day to day basis, they might just want to feel human.

frustratedmarxistfem · June 28, 2020, 5:05 p.m. · 1 reply

This is quite possibly the weirdest thing I've ever read. We do not support each others internalized misogyny, we call out misogyny and build confidence in being a woman.

villanelle23eve · June 28, 2020, 6:04 p.m. · 1 reply

Why would someone want to identify as a woman? Why can't they develop confidence as people?

It's like you're arguing for gender identity.

frustratedmarxistfem · June 28, 2020, 6:23 p.m. · 1 reply

Avoiding things with the word woman in it because you think the word woman describes the stereotypical gender roles placed on women is misogyny. Women are people and the fact that you think being a woman automatically makes you not just a person is, again, misogyny. You're conflating "women" with a social construct of what womanhood looks like and avoiding the word woman because you think you're more of a real person than other women only re enforces the idea that womanhood is inherently inferior to manhood.

You are obviously aware of this as you're here telling women that we should make room and be mindful of women who are misogynistic. You might recognize this as the opposite of feminism, as the womens movement developed out of consciousness raising groups where women worked on ridding themselves of internalized misogyny. This is a feminist group. Accepting misogyny is not feminist.

villanelle23eve · June 28, 2020, 7:46 p.m.

Maybe you're right about that in this situation. Given the group's topic, sisterhood may be appropriate.

Elle-laments · June 28, 2020, 7:26 p.m. · 1 reply

Yes, everyone has different associations with different words. If you're offended by it, don't join? Start your own? They don't deserve to coerce other women's language - many of whom value the space, like, uh, THE OP

villanelle23eve · June 28, 2020, 7:36 p.m. · 1 reply

It seems to me that you're denying women humanity by forcing them to identify as women ALL the time. There's no reason to do that in this group. They know they're women, it's a women's group, they don't need to be referred as that all the time.

Elle-laments · June 28, 2020, 8:17 p.m.

Your first sentence is all kinds of weird, I'm not forcing anyone to do anything and women are human?

Then start another group? No one is rounding up TIFs and forcing them to join women's groups

ibbleekto · June 28, 2020, 10:07 p.m.

Weirdly implying that being a woman and being human aren’t really the same thing. Also, occasionally the needs of the majority can win out. I’ve posted in endo support groups before after having surgery, out of my mind with pain and the idea that I could be to be policed for saying “hi ladies” is so fucking ridiculous

kristinstar · June 28, 2020, 5:51 p.m.

Go on a support group for prostate cancer and start complaining how exclusionary it is. Screen shot it. Post that as your reply. Perhaps they’ll see how ridiculous they are.

PassionateIntensity · June 28, 2020, 8:07 p.m.

Transmen need to stop hurting other women because they hate themselves. It's not like the rest of us don't sympathize with your internalized misogyny, but hurting others doesn't make anything better. Go make your own transmen groups if you can't deal with biological words.

KilgurlTrout · June 28, 2020, 9:59 p.m.

Hey endo sister.

I'm sorry the world has gotten so crazy for us. There's an endometriosis subreddit that you might check out -- but I'm not sure if they're cracking down on female language too (I asked about it in a comment on this thread). Please feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone who understands the struggle.

nobydanni · June 28, 2020, 11:36 p.m.

TRAs are fucking terrible like that. If your a man, you should be grateful you aren't capable of getting endometriosis or even normal periods. TRAS are toxic as hell.

Eurowoman24 · June 29, 2020, 4:28 a.m.

have the same thing. you are right sister.