Displaying results 51 through 100 of 7656 entries found.

Submitted by pinkhellsbian on July 6, 2020, 2:37 p.m. 22 comments

I met a woman online last fall. We began chatting, became friends, eventually things developed into more-than-friends territory.

Now, I don't have a lot of experiencies sadly, but with her, everything just felt so easy. We had a lot in common, we talked every single day, videochatted too, I trusted her and she trusted me. We could talk to one another about anything. I really do think I fell for her, like hard. And from the things she said to me, she liked me too, sometimes I even thought she might like me more than I liked her! The best part was, she liked the qualities that I'm insecure about, I truly felt like I could be me with her.

And then, the moment I go see her in person, she goes: "Oh I'm sorry I don't think I like you anymore". And like, I know that can happen, online is online and real life is real life, but my feelings have been very much real, deeper than I've ever felt for anyone else. And I was so devastated. I cut my trip to see her short and basically fled home. It hurts so much. I'm not sure how to move on. Meeting her felt like a miracle.

I know time heals, and I know if I met her then I can meet others too, but rn I can't think of anyone that's not her lol. I just feel... very very lost.

Submitted by rhiannondreams on July 6, 2020, 1 p.m. 17 comments

My ship date is nearing.

I feel as though I'm suspended between two different worlds. I haven't completely processed the full weight of the situation, so I'm both calm and internally screaming.

I didn't expect to be in this situation. I first thought about joining the military at the end of my senior year, but I didn't go through with the plan for a variety reasons. The desire remained, however, so I started reading about the military again near the end of last year. I spent more time deliberating on it for a few months and then started contacting recruiters. Army was initially the branch I was least interested in joining, although I ended up enlisting with them.

I managed to keep the entire enlistment process a secret from my family. Now that I'm officially in the DEP though, I don't know when the timing is right to tell them. I can think of the multiple ways that they're going to react, and barely any of them are positive. They've always kept me sheltered, and even more so when they found out I was questioning my sexuality in middle school. My parents expect my constant presence at home. Me leaving for the military is such a foreign concept to them. Honestly, it feels like a foreign concept to me too.

As much as I hated being sheltered, it's what I got used to. I got used to being disconnected from my peers because I wasn't allowed to spend time with them after class. I got used to having my family as my primary form of social interaction (although we barely talk anyway). I got used to seeing this room as my world, this house as my universe.

I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. I'm just so overwhelmed.

Submitted by neverthrownaway777 on July 6, 2020, 12:52 p.m. 72 comments

I feel like lesbians view women much differently than men view women. This is especially noticeable in music videos and ads where women are sexualised. So much focuses on boobs, ass, being half naked. And honestly that does very little for me? An attractive face matters much more to me than anything else and I find those sorts of videos very off-putting. Anyone else?

Submitted by LiquidCryptic on July 6, 2020, 12:35 p.m. 39 comments

I'll try to keep this short and sweet as possible, but its happened on multiple occasions when drinks are involved or sometimes not.

I have been married to my wife for four years. Everyone in my friend group knows my wife and I are lesbians. Yet, this weekend, I threw a party and some of the guys got creepy and hansy.

One of them touched my boob and tried to play it off like it didn't happen. The other asked me if I was dtf basically, and he asked my wife the same thing after I turned him down.

Not every man at this party was rude and disrespectful. I just can't help thinking that if either me and my wife were a man, none of this would happen. Their brain would ping "there's a dude involved. She's taken." Why is it that these people's automatic reaction is to treat us like we're available? You'd think that it would stop at some point if you say you're a lesbian, or your married, or just simply "no".

For stories' sake, I kicked the men out of my house in a screaming rage. They're not welcome in my life anymore. Is it bad to have hope that I can be friends with a man and not have them ruin it? Maybe I should only hang out with married guys and their wives, though that probably won't stop all of em' from ruining it for themselves.

This is in no way meant to rag on my family or friends lol, they are really great people, but I've discovered something interesting

I'm a femme lesbian. When I came out to my family my mom had a bit of a hard time with it, and once she said something along the lines of "just please don't bring home one of those awful butch girls" which pissed me off a bit but I kind of shrugged it off as whatever, my mom's old and just needs to open her mind more.

When I came out to my (straight) friends everything was great. They were and still are supportive. I was dating another femme-ish woman back then. It didn't work out and I think part of it was due to the fact I am naturally more attracted to more tomboyish women, soft butch, butch, along that "spectrum", and while I did have feelings for her something didn't feel quite right.

What's interesting is that my friends were fine with her, and my mom seemed "relieved" in a sense. But then when we split up I started dating this way more tomboyish presenting woman - she wasn't even full butch, just very much a tomboy. And the reactions and general vibes when I showed them a picture of her were way different. One friend even said something along the lines of "but she looks like a man! She dresses like a man!", another said she felt like I was downgrading... "your ex was way prettier, at least she was more femenine, more normal" and so on (I was very pissed at her for saying this and she apologized)

It almost feels as though being a lesbian is all great and fine if you're a femme (conforming to society's expectations of femenine) and dating other femmes... But being or even dating a butch or even slightly masculine presenting woman is frowned upon. I don't know, it just struck me as an interesting point to analyze.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?

Submitted by thelonelyvirgo on July 6, 2020, 10:03 a.m. 28 comments

I’m about to be 29. Ready to be dating seriously, though I’m not ready for marriage, just want to make something last at this point.

I am pursuing a degree in healthcare, so my interests don’t really surround a lot of the things I see from other lesbians in their mid-20’s.

I feel like a lot of the women I’d be into are settled in relationships. The folks available are interested in polyamory, live two or three hours away, or have kids.

I’m an awkward cat sometimes. I have a hard time getting to know someone over text/video chat, but I’m open to it, especially with Corona.

I came out kind of late, so I don’t have a ton of experience with dating. I was dating someone for a while, and we clicked really well, but things ended suddenly. I needed a lot of time to recover.

Dating apps make me feel like something is wrong with me, even though I know it’s not the case. Bars and parties are usually overrun with straight people (it’s the cool thing to do in my town, I guess).

Just feeling terribly, terribly lonely.

Submitted by gartenschnecke on July 6, 2020, 8:58 a.m. 29 comments

Hello, fellow lesbians!

This will be a bit long as I want to describe where I am at in detail. There is a short summary in the end if you don't want to read the rest.

Background: During the years I have noticed there are quite some events, parties and bars for gay men only or events for the whole lgbt (+ straight allies) spectrum where I live. But almost nothing for lesbians/bisexual women only. Even when I lived in Berlin, which is the city of sexual freedom, I never saw or visited an women-exclusive party/event! I was only told there are such but never got specific info about them.

So what are you left with when there are no bars/parties/events to meet wlw at?

Real life luck and dating platforms. I am sure some of you have the real life luck thing going on but until recently I hadn't met a single wlw in my day-to-day life. And I am an extrovert. I did meet some recently but none to whom I am attracted. I am a veteran in dating apps but I grew quite tired of it recently. It seems almost unfair to me that we are driven in this position to rely only on a digital dating platform in order to be able to meet other wlw...

I have observed that femme lesbians (bisexuals even less) generally are not as flock-oriented and rarely have a network of other lesbian friends. Maybe some of you here can even confirm that.

Description of the idea: What I have been thinking about for some time now is to try to organise women-only party/cocktail/topic-themed/speed dating/quiz evenings which cater to all wlw and especially try to reach people with my own profile: single; interested in meeting more lesbians/bis; has almost only straight friends; learns about gay events only through internet or seeing a poster/flyer/ad by coincidence; does not completely identify with the classical LGBT-theme (many flags, many stereotypes etc); is not actively politically engaged in lgbt topics, i.e. doesn't belong to political lgbt groups/organisations

The idea would be to make it possible for such females to come even alone but be able to fit in right away without having to feel socially awkward or out of place. This can be done through offering quiz evenings for example where the teams are randomly built or other similar methods. It is still very vague but I wanted to share the idea with you and ask you how it sounds. You could also answer these questions:

1. whether you would visit such an event

2. where do you see/find information about such events where you live

3. where would you wish you would find information about such events

4. what sort of les(bi)an events would you wish for

It would be helpful if you write how far you fit into the profile I described as well. :)

I am based in Stuttgart, Germany. (hit me up if you are located somewhere in the vicinity and have interest in the idea)

Summary: tackling the idea to organise female-only wlw evenings in a city in Germany, as there just aren't any or they are very poorly marketed. If you want to help me, you can check out the description of the idea above and answer the questions!

Thanks a lot in advance, xoxo

Submitted by taliamarija1 on July 6, 2020, 7:43 a.m. 2 comments

I've been chatting with this girl and she's been open about being Bi. Context; Chatting for almost a year now and we were watching a film and I might've done and said a few things while slightly intoxicated. Could've possibly developed into something else had I not just frozen up from embarrassment.

Still slightly embarrassed to admit this but... I might've panicked over the fact it's my first time. Not 'first time with a woman', I mean first time with anyone. Idk if I should tell her? or explain because I do feel guilty over shutting her down.

I always knew I was interested in women from an early age and never pursued a relationship with any man, or any person for that matter because I lived in a conservative area. Now being able to explore my sexuality without judgment, I just don't know what I should do?

Submitted by Jinera on July 6, 2020, 7:06 a.m. 88 comments

I can't be the only one, right?

Every lesbian I have ever talked to had a, for me unimaginable, love for cats. Every single one!

I don't like cats, I don't even like dogs! (Despite my mom being a dog breeder).

I love, love snakes. I have two of them and they are my loves. My male snake is the love of my life and the only man that I will ever be able to cuddle in bed with - he is my son, I am so proud of him. Also, I have a lesser tenrec (they look similar to hedgehogs but are smaller and a different species all together).

Any other lesbian who doesn't love cats or dogs, but likes other animals/exotic animals?

So far I've never met any girl in real life that understands my love for snakes or other animals that aren't the standard, but I cannot be the only one!

Oh, definitely do tell me about your babies, there's nothing like hearing people talk about their pets :)

Submitted by neverthrownaway777 on July 6, 2020, 6:29 a.m. 27 comments

When I was like 13 and I was desperately trying to fit in during boy talk I said I had a crush on some random dude in class and everyone's reaction was "Really? I always thought you were gay."

Flash forwards to 15 where I thought I was asexual because I had no crushes on boys (lol) and my feelings for girls were simply deeply platonic (lol) this girl I had in retrospect a crush on told me "I think you're most likely here to end up gay."

I'm gay. How did they know before I'd even admitted it to myself?? The gaydar apparently works no matter what.

Anyone here have stories like that?

Submitted by hotdamn212 on July 6, 2020, 4:52 a.m. 22 comments

I know I’m not considered unattractive or ugly, but I can’t help feel that way whenever I see pictures of myself. In reflections I think I actually look pretty good. People compliment my appearance, unprompted. But regardless of angle, lighting, distance from camera, selfie or not, I dislike almost every picture taken of myself. I truly believe the camera doesn’t do anyone many favors unless deceptive angles are used or they’re a model, but I just feel downright bad. I refuse to let people take pictures of/with me. It’s holding me back from using dating apps. It makes people think I’m insecure (which frankly I am, but only about the photo outcome).

Anyone else feel similarly?

Submitted by tiramisu_owl on July 6, 2020, 12:15 a.m. 16 comments

title.

I don't want to date a bisexual girl who turns out to have been lying to me, had a partner, and in the end just have my heart shattered into fine little pieces.

At the same time, I don't think there are a lot of options for a closeted 15 year old with homophobic parents. I probably should just wait, but I really, really want a gf who shares the same interests I do.

What should I do?

Coming out Rant
Submitted by VernalMuffins on July 6, 2020, 12:08 a.m. 9 comments

Y'all I know this topic is overdone, but I just really wanna rant somewhere about how much I hate having to come out :///

What I hate is that my family (who I'm a little bit worried about coming out to) 'knows' that I'm gay. My mom's been bringing up every anti-homosexuality argument that the catholic church has to me for years now lol. Its the act of making it explicit that sucks.

I just wanna be me, and not have to be the 'asshole lesbian' or the person who's talked about in hushed tones by my family. I don't wanna have to deal with it being blamed on liberal indoctrination, children's TV, or the fact that my family also has had a lot of issues. I don't want my gayness to have a blame at all, because I don't think anything made me a lesbian. I hate that I have such a large family but I'm the only gay one.

At the same time, I'm also glad, because I know they, particularly my mom, has chilled out regarding gay people compared to, say, when I was growing up. I don't think she thinks that being gay is a mental illness anymore, even if she thinks it may be a moral failing. I'm 99.999% sure i won't get kicked out. I just wish that I could make her understand that I didn't choose this. I cried my eyes out when I realized I was into girls. I tried convincing myself I was bi, I even dated a guy (who was pretty obviously gay oops).

// end rant

Sorry for the rant, my plan is to come out before college so it can't be blamed on going to college, but it's hard to say the magic coming out words, so I'm ranting here instead of doing it yet.

Submitted by debilitare on July 5, 2020, 5:28 p.m. 40 comments

Hey everyone! I wanted to invite everyone here to join my new, female-centered, lesbian-only discord, for gamers and non-gamers alike!

Right now it is strictly invite only with two channels as I’m still figuring out how everything works.

Anyone who is a member here is more than welcome to join, I would post the invite here but to make sure I keep it safe I’ll have to invite individually. My goal is to have a discord that lesbians feel safe to join, meet other lesbians to game with, or even just chat with fellow lesbians about every day stuff.

I’m also looking for people to help mod so it’s easier to invite people, so if you’re interested let me know and we can talk about it!

Submitted by Delorean_95 on July 5, 2020, 4:43 p.m. 16 comments

This has been one of the worst years of my life and I'm trying to move forward now and build myself back up.

I'm curious to know how y'all grow confidence. I'm in a slump right now and allowing myself to be this way for the time being and then I want to bounce again.

Some ways I've built confidence before:

-- spending the first few mins of the day outside

  • taking cold showers
  • sticking to my guns and not touching a drop of alcohol despite everyone around me encouraging me to drink
  • asking questions when I do not understand

Submitted by JCnGGd32 on July 5, 2020, 4:16 p.m. 48 comments

What triggered this post was a stupid buzzfeed article I saw. It was just a lighthearted joke of a page called “ten movies that should have had a lesbian plotline” or something. Some entries were real (e.g., fried green tomatoes which had a lesbian relationship in the book but was cut in the film). Others were just a bit fun, e.g. a league of their own, which the page said “come on softball is like the GAYEST sport”.

About 90% of the comments were from (obviously) straight people saying something along the lines “I’m offended that you’d say softball is a gay sport. That’s a homophobic stereotype! I’m straight and I play softball. I know a lot of people who play softball that are TOTALLY NORMAL! It’s offensive you’d label them gay just because of the sport they play”.

Like I get it, stereotyping is bad, and not all lesbians fit a certain criteria. I just hate it when straight people get SO OFFENDED at the mere thought that someone would suggest something they like is gay. It’s obvious they’re not offended that lesbians face stereotyping, they’re offended someone might mistake THEM for being a lesbian!

Has anyone else seen this?

Submitted by [deleted] on July 5, 2020, 3:28 p.m. 8 comments
Submitted by ThrowawayRA323323 on July 5, 2020, 1:13 p.m. 24 comments

Hey gals! Are any of you gals out there gaming in order to keep yourselves from going stir crazy during COVID? I'm thankful for the handful of games that have been keeping me entertained during lockdown :). That being said, would anyone be interested in doing some online play of either ACNH, Mariokart, or maybe even Overcooked 2 (I know, not the most relaxing of games, but it's fun! lol).

If anyone's interested, maybe we can get a little group together? Yay or nay for this idea?

Submitted by kynodovtas on July 5, 2020, 1:03 p.m. 11 comments

We have been in a relationship since april of last year. We have been seeing each other a few times a month since all of this corona thing started. There's not a lot of cases in my city yet, but the numbers are growing and I want us to stay safe. I dont't know how to tell her that it's better if we don't see each other anymore. We love each other very much, but with how poorly the things are being handle by my country's goverment, we won't be able to have a normal life for another year or so.

So, how should I tell her? I don't want to make her sad more than she already is. Any advice is appreciated. (I'm sorry about my english)

Submitted by aboveroomtempqueso on July 5, 2020, 11:17 a.m. 43 comments

Someone that is trans.

As I’ve said before, I am not open to the idea of dating someone that is transgender. Even if our interests align, even if our personalities are compatible, I won’t be physically attracted. Not something I can help.

Honestly, I’m a little concerned about being labeled a T_RF. Our gay/lesbian community here is small. I don’t want to be presented as a hateful person for having an attraction.

This person messaged me on a dating app and was very straightforward. I have not responded yet.

I sometimes have a problem with being too blunt (I actually have been written up for it before at work...yikes).

It’s giving me some anxiety.

Submitted by notpornrelated on July 5, 2020, 9:37 a.m. 22 comments

I'm on every dating app despite the fact I dont even like them.

If I find someone cute I'll tell them.

I'm just struggling to find a partner, I've been single a while and would love to be back in a relationship again.

Any tips for a perpetually single lesbian in her mid-twenties? At this rate I'll be single forever!

Submitted by rpokefullofdopes on July 5, 2020, 9:01 a.m.
13332
Submitted by aveoli81 on July 5, 2020, 8:20 a.m. 8 comments

I'm wondering if anything like this exists apart from Sappho and her poetry. Obviously lesbianism was, put lightly, controversial for a long time so nothing explicit would be published and female authors were at a disadvantage anyway, but are there any lesbian authors that we know/speculate were lesbians today who had work with lesbian themes?

Submitted by hitori_arukishiteru on July 5, 2020, 7:39 a.m. 40 comments

Currently twenty-one, and I'm a hopeless romantic who's never been with a woman before.

I've always been wanting, learning, and trying my best anytime I re-enter the dating scene. However, I never stay for long. It appears to me that most people want to fool around or are indecisive about what they want.

I am voluntary celibate, as I am not interested in casual sex and have no qualms about waiting to be with someone who actually loves me and shares similar moral values.

Until then, how do I accept being alone, even though it hurts badly? Or, how can I at least numb the pain and not let this be something that leaves me in tears every week?

The lack of emotional intimacy is what aches, along with feeling so... unwanted.

I used to be unattractive and bullied for it relentlessly. Now I'm above average—something I worked very hard to achieve. I've also noticed that my social skills have improved somewhat. My mental health is really what's awful, but I have no access to therapy or medication at this point in time.

Submitted by tumbleweedtwix on July 5, 2020, 1:12 a.m. 7 comments

Hi all, I’m taking submissions for my lesbian themed zine, and wanted to extend request to you all :) the first issue came out last week (link in comments), my next issue is almost ready too.

Issue #2 is lesbian cats, butches and erotica writing/art. If you have any of these - pics of your cat... pics of yourself if you identify as butch, or any erotica that you’ve written, you can send it to my email, and I’ll consider publishing it!

Email: lesbianpulp@gmail.com

Submitted by canardyyy on July 4, 2020, 11:26 p.m. 94 comments

What’s your lesbian guilty pleasure movie or tv show, doesn’t have to be lesbian or LGBT+? Also doesn’t have to be a guilty pleasure.

I personally enjoy But I’m a cheerleader, the craft, the L word(og), horror and any true crime(sue me, I’m allowed to have my basic white girl moment, lol).

So ladies, tell me your guilty pleasures.

Submitted by [deleted] on July 4, 2020, 6:42 p.m. 1 comment
Submitted by BraveAndStunningTERF on July 4, 2020, 6:26 p.m. 65 comments

Apparently she played Cat-woman - Didnt watch it.

She put me off OITNB, Her part in pitch perfect 3 put a dampener on it for me and i dunno, just in general i feel like all we ever see is the same old hard-ass ruby rose playing the roles that.... probably its men that want her to play??

I thought being a good actor was being able to play most characters very convincingly? An example of this would be Suranne Jones and Sophie Rundle in gentleman jack - Both straight in their real lives, both played various roles but both convincingly playing very different characters.

Honestly? I just feel guilty that i cant warm up to RR - Should I be?

Submitted by Liv_ss on July 4, 2020, 5:51 p.m. 15 comments

I have always lived at big cities. The two biggest of my country. Even though it's not easy being a lesbian anywhere lol, it helps being in a city with so many people and so many LGBT people. Also, here I find many groups and place that are for lesbians, like lesbians bars.

But I got a job at a VERY small town. It's an amazing job, government one, big pay and all. The town has less than 40000 people there. Also, it does not have malls, or any big cultural thing. It's more of a village (at the Amazon forest lol).

I've been there a few times, and lived at a city close to there. And never saw lesbians or gays couples. It just seems like everyone is in the closet.

So, do any of you live in small town? Specially, religious towns? How do you cope? Please send advices lol

15,000 Important
Submitted by MaxinistaFemmeinista on July 4, 2020, 4:56 p.m. 11 comments

On the dot!

I’m so happy that we continue to grow, even in troubling times.

It is all worth it if it means that lesbians are still finding their space 😊

Submitted by reddituser0334 on July 4, 2020, 3:58 p.m. 86 comments

I was reading through some old posts describing "red flags" in online dating profiles and a recurring one seemed to be not having a college degree? Is it really a deal-breaker for most of you if a woman works a job that doesn't require higher education and never obtained a degree of some sorts ? (An example would be going to a trade school instead of going to college etc...)

Lesbian = Female Homosexual Politics & Controversial
Submitted by aveoli81 on July 4, 2020, 2:25 p.m. 1 comment
Submitted by Sidbwantsfood on July 4, 2020, 8:51 a.m.

So a few days ago when I heard that reddit had banned a few subs and then couldn't access this sub I thought that truelesbians was banned too (although I later realized that it was only private and yall were doing some house keeping). So I posted about this in another sub called r/queerwomenofcolor which I frequent sometimes too. It is less of what actuallesbians has turned into but still substantially a lot of conflict because of different orientations. Anyway I was never popular over there which started when I told a "queer" girl that if she is in a relationship with a man its a straight relationship. People did not like that.

So right now I had posted asking about what had happened to truelesbians. And then the usual shit went down in the comments and I got banned™. So I must be doing something right. Glad to see y'all back. It is kind of unsettling that my own people of color would turn against their own and especially with the racism that goes on within the LGB community, but I am willing to face that alone. I am not going to stay quiet and I will stand with the truth. That's the least I can do. To be honest at this point seeing what is going on in the world we need to speak the truth more than ever. And again at no point did I say anything that invalidated trans people. I just asked for a space for biological women who like biological women. This should not be a crime.

Submitted by LaylabintMahdi on July 4, 2020, 6:24 a.m. 46 comments

I want to listen to new music/songs and was wondering what you listen to :)? It doesn't have to be lesbian related, do you like funk, 80's music, rap, etc? And which bands/singers/songs do you like?:)

Submitted by weightsANDplants on July 4, 2020, 5:29 a.m. 15 comments

Hi all, wondered if I could ask for your views and takes on this dynamic with my girlfriend?

We get on really well and have so much in common. She’s now told me what she’s actually looking for in a relationship, which is a d/s dynamic both inside and out of the bedroom. We’ve been dating for several months and while I could tell her preferences were edging more on the rough/BDSM side of things, I still don’t quite know how to take this.

I’m not sure how I feel about this, both from a feminist perspective and also a lesbian perspective. I guess people would say I’m quite “traditionally feminine” although to me I just behave as feels normal and comfortable as it’s not performative in any way. Also as a lesbian who’s currently dating within a butch/femme dynamic, I’m not sure whether adding a formalised d/s element would be perpetuating harmful patriarchal dynamics, or whether I’m just overthinking this?

Would be interested in hearing anyone’s thoughts.

Submitted by ActualWendy on July 4, 2020, 3:39 a.m. 33 comments

Like most lesbians my age (late 50s) I haven't enjoyed "Pride" for decades. 50 years after Stonewall, maybe we don't need it anymore? Once the gay and lesbian political movement achieved its rather conservative goals of marriage and military service, instead of continuing to fight for other civil rights in employment, housing, etc, it focused on gender expression. I thought our movement was against and beyond gender, but that's not how it turned out.

What would happen if lesbians declared our limited victory and stepped back? I'm in the States, so at this point, I'd rather spend June celebrating African Americans and ending structural racism.

Submitted by ActualWendy on July 4, 2020, 3:25 a.m. 2 comments

My library in Santa Cruz subscribes to an online video service called kanopy. I signed up for it with my library card and was astounded at the movies that turned up when I searched for "lesbian." Documentaries I had heard about from Frameline but never able to see. Documentaries I saw a long time ago at lesbian&gay film festivals. New dramas about lesbian relationships from all over the world.

You can only watch nine movies per month, but that's two per weekend, so I'm set for months.

They have dozens of films about feminism, labor movements, artists, music.... It's a treasure of non-mainstream culture.

Submitted by StrictlyDykely on July 4, 2020, 12:01 a.m. 45 comments

Lez Get Valid, 2020. that is all.

Submitted by aboveroomtempqueso on July 3, 2020, 10:22 p.m. 29 comments

She got into drinking heavily. She also started smoking weed pretty regularly.

Where are the women that don’t smoke/drink/party all the time? I feel like I’m being too picky, but it’s not a lifestyle I get into.

I will drink from time to time, but never enough to be intoxicated, and I absolutely don’t mess with drugs.

Before meeting my ex, other women thought this made me boring. I work in healthcare...it sort of goes what I believe in lol.

Sorry to ramble, just feeling a little defeated ATM.

Submitted by MsHurricane on July 3, 2020, 7:57 p.m. 74 comments

I’ve heard it from a few before but as a woman that started to date at 24: Long story short I come from a strict background and refused to sleep with a guy since the prospect of sleeping with one makes me hurl. So I purposely didn’t have anything until I moved out on my own. I was either going to be lesbian or become a nun so I could cause havoc there. Given as I was mostly raised in parochial and catholic boarding schools, trust me you have no idea how good those nuns have it.😆 Anyways, had my second puberty and now have “honed” what I want out life at 28. I know it’s a thing that a lot of lesbians shackle up young to rear families, especially now given the economy, but is it really “dead” or “game over” once 30 hits? I’m seeing it a lot. Why would that be? Also because it reminded me of the time I got hit on by a 40 year old lesbian I was crushing on. I was 25 and I lied and said I was 28 because I do look like a teenager; most people tally my looks at no more than “16” to 18” now. I’m guessing it could be because I’m a bit brown and have had more than my share of fun maybe? No offense to anyone I promise. Anyways, I remember her reaction like “whaa? You look much, much younger”. I got the feeling she wanted my “looks age” which freaks me out a bit as I get hit on by a lot of younger lesbians regularly more often than not and it makes me feel pedophilic. Unless she wanted kids maybe? I’m not trying to judge or anything but what gives? Plus this one didn’t want kids, she preferred being an aunt. This also alarms me because I’ve been enjoying my freedom and having fun dating, meeting women. I’ve not met “the one” yet. So now I’ve learned there’s “bed death” and I know straight women face invisibility at 30 but didn’t think it was so pervasive in the lesbian world. I hear it’s even more worse in our lot it seems. What you all think? Whatever you want to add, please do so.

Submitted by ClintEastwoods_Chair on July 3, 2020, 4:51 p.m. 12 comments

I seriously feel so lost with online dating. I'm about as a dull as brick during conversations. I'm so much better meeting people in person, I just can't connect right away with a picture of a person. But there's a gorgeous lady messaging me right now and I'm at "hey how r u" levels.

Any other boring ass ladies dealing with this in COVID lockdown? Any tips for a fellow piece of drywall?

Submitted by neverthrownaway777 on July 3, 2020, 4:48 p.m. 13 comments

I'm not sure if this is allowed here but I really need to get it off my chest. It's descriptive and possibly triggering, so be warned.

I only realised that I'm a lesbian about a month ago. I identified as bisexual before that, and while I had absolutely zero desire to be with a man, or have sex with one, I got into a very emotionally abusive relationship with a man. At the start of the relationship I was dealing with bulimia and bad depression and was in a really isolated place, and my boyfriend was several years older. He listened to me and acted nice and I became so emotionally dependent on him that I felt suicidal every time we argued.

At about the 3 month mark of our relationship he basically coerced me into sex. I wouldn't describe it as rape, but he said that I HAVE to do it because of some minor mistake of mine in the relationship. At first I was really against it and I said I don't want to, but he emotionally blackmailed me until I agreed by threatening to leave me and by being really verbally abusive, calling me names until I broke down and agreed. He got me to give him oral, and was really aggressive with it even though we hadn't discussed it otherwise. I felt nothing. In fact I kind of disassociated. When he left I just sat and felt empty for an hour.

He ended up pressuring me into this a few more times and PIV sex where I couldn't get turned on at all so bled a lot and it was incredibly painful. At one point he even got mad at me because it "seems like you don't want to be here." Again afterwards I felt so disassociated and numb. I felt disgusting, I felt nothing, I felt cheap and I had basically not self worth at that point. But even though he pressured me I didn't HAVE to do it, I could always say no. He never used physical force. So I feel like I chose it and that I feel so dirty because of my own mistakes. There was never any desire, I never orgasmed. The penetration itself actually felt good at one point which makes me feel even more sick. But even then I didn't WANT it. There was no attraction, no desire, and the whole goal was for it to be over so I could leave.

I feel so confused and wrong. I feel like I can't even ID as a lesbian because I chose to have sex with a man. I keep having intrusive thoughts about the experiences and I wish I had never seen a dick in my life so I wouldn't have to keep having the mental image. I feel gross and unclean and I can't trust any man.

I'm sorry for the long post. I just really need help. I don't know where else I can talk about being a lesbian and having experienced this.

Submitted by p5940 on July 3, 2020, 4:21 p.m. 29 comments

Basically the title. I don't hook up, I would never be in a poly relationship, don't want a threesome, etc. And I don't party, drink, smoke etc.

I'm in college and pretty much every other lesbian wants a hookup or a 420 buddy. I've had one relationship (8 months) and my ex was someone who hooked up a lot before we met. We didn't breakup because of that but it made me realize that I want to be with someone who shares the same values about things like that.

I'm very worried I won't be able to find someone else like me, especially not in my age range. Anyone else feel this way?