Dating girls as a conservative/Republican.

Family & Relationships Submitted July 9, 2020, 2 p.m. by 0c3v

Hey all,

Basically reposting from another subreddit, as I figured this one was actually active so it would be of more help. Anyways.

I was wondering if you guys have had any experience or tips in dating within the gay/lesbian community (while holding political views that differ from the “norm”). Personally, one girl that I've dated has stopped associating herself with me after she learned of my support for the Republican party, and another agreed to go on a date with me, and then left early after a discussion we held about abortion (that she brought up). That one hurt more, as we had talked a lot beforehand, and I thought the date was going smoothly.

I live in a very liberal town, and ironically, acceptance of being gay is easier to come by than acceptance of someone who isn't a strongly left-leaning Democrat. Sucks sometimes.

For those that may be in a similar situation, how has finding girls to date/sustaining these relationships gone? Do you just keep your political thoughts hidden? Do you only date other conservatives?

Thanks to all.

TL;DR I don’t mind dating liberal girls, but they don’t like dating me.

98 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
Ladonnacinica · July 9, 2020, 2:25 p.m. · 1 reply

That really sucks for you especially because our dating pool is very small already.

I think it’s good you’re being honest about your political views and it is something that should be discussed with your partner. Now I’d say that when first going out with someone you might refrain from political conversations. Perhaps wait a month or so? If the girl leaves you still then she isn’t for you.

You don’t want to date an intolerant person or someone who doesn’t respect your beliefs. So if they leave, then good riddance.

Go on and keep trying. There’s HER, bumble, okcupid, etc.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 3:04 p.m. · 1 reply

Thank you very much for this. I guess I haven’t really been in the dating game long enough to try out some other strategies yet - I’ll try telling people of my overall stance but wait until later for more in-depth discussion.

And I really appreciate that last part - it has been hard to be “rejected”, but you make a very good point about respecting someone’s beliefs.

Thanks again.

Ladonnacinica · July 9, 2020, 3:07 p.m.

Best of luck.

garbagecanmonster · July 9, 2020, 2:27 p.m. · 1 reply

I’d say ur best bet is to be up front about your politics and stuff before seriously considering trying to date someone. Lesbians aren’t known for being the most conservative ppl out here so this will potentially happen to you over and over unless you just proudly display it and hope to find someone whose cool with it from the start. I’m not even a conservative but I think anyone should just do that when you have beliefs that would be considered “bad” by most people.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 3 p.m.

Okay, thank you very much for the advice. My only issue in the past has been (not with dating, but people in general) that many are put off by my political stance before they even have a chance to know me as a person. But again, thank you very much, and I’ll give your advice a shot after COVID-19 dies down.

Poppy29252 · July 9, 2020, 2:31 p.m. · 2 replies

I suppose a lot of us aren't interested in associating with fellow lesbians who align with the party whose platform stands for misogyny, racism, and homophobia.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 2:55 p.m. · 3 replies

It’s okay to think that, and I appreciate your opinion.

Furthermore, I will agree that many of the prominent politicians fit what you say (not even going to lie, President Trump, as cool as he may be, has not been all sunshine and rainbows as well).

But there are black conservatives, female conservatives, and gay conservatives out there. They may be harder to find, but they’re there. Candace Owens is black and female, Rob Smith is black and gay, Milo Yiannopoulos is gay, etcetera. When I think of myself as a conservative, I don’t think of blindly supporting GOP candidates or just agreeing with someone else because we’re in the same political party - I think of looking at both parties holistically and realizing that, in general, I support conservative viewpoints. Sure I enjoy firearms, I support the military, I’m against abortion, and I support capitalism, but I don’t support conversion therapy or allowing doctors to not aid gay people.

One can have a certain overall mindset while still disagreeing over some points.

lmaonope333 · July 9, 2020, 3:45 p.m. · 2 replies

Trump is a pedophile. Why would any sane person, Democrat or Republican, think hes cool

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 4:44 p.m. · 3 replies

So Is biden. And trump isn't a homophobe. He literally launched a global campaign to decriminalize homosexuality

lmaonope333 · July 9, 2020, 4:47 p.m. · 1 reply

I never said bidens not a pedophile. he is and I don't like him either. but you brought up trump, not biden.

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 4:50 p.m. · 1 reply

I'm not op

Continue reading
lmaonope333 · July 9, 2020, 4:50 p.m. · 1 reply

and btw he opposed marriage equality

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 4:51 p.m. · 1 reply

BTW no he doesn't he said marriage equality is not his prerogative so it's staying

Continue reading
Poppy29252 · July 9, 2020, 5:08 p.m.

And how does he feel about women.

And how does he feel about black people.

And how does he feel about native people.

And how does he feel about immigrants.

And how does he feel about their children.

And how does he feel about white supremacy.

And how does he feel about healthcare.

hydrogenperoxxide · July 9, 2020, 4:46 p.m.

Yeah seriously, my dad has been a republican for 50 years and even he is starting to realize trump isn't cool. The fact that another woman, let alone a lesbian would call him cool (without being on his payroll) is mind boggling to me.

Poppy29252 · July 9, 2020, 5:03 p.m.

By voting republican, you cosign their entire platform, which in many of our minds is violent and hateful.

And yes I realize there are minority and oppressed individuals who work against their own communities. They are free to do so. It's disgusting. But they get paid so there's that.

hamingothe lesbionic woman · July 9, 2020, 7:16 p.m.

Milo defends pedophilia and has publicly called for journalists to be shot, Candace defended Hitler and likes to promote conspiracy theories, and Rob Smith says that gays and lesbians are a "cult".

Are these really the best examples you could come up with? You picked some of the most incendiary talking heads, but you ignored the real, live black and female GOP politicians who are too busy working to spend the day ranting on Fox News or Twitter. I tried to find an out gay Republican who wasn't either a pedophile, someone who protected pedophiles, or just a regular con-artist who misappropriated taxpayer money to enrich himself, but there aren't any currently living.

The fact that you cited those specific Fox News personalities instead of the non-controversial Republicans currently in office doing work for YOU demonstrates that you do actually "just agree[ing] with someone else because we’re in the same political party".

If you're going to stand up for Trump and his lackeys, you could at least bother to do a modicum of research before you start whining about being "oppressed".

OpheliaLives7 · July 10, 2020, 1:04 a.m.

Right? Can’t imagine being with a woman who says yeah I love you babe, but I’m gonna vote for this politician/party that thinks us being able to get married is sin/immoral and should never have been legalized, thinks businesses should be able to deny us service, and recently pushed for bills making is legal to deny us a chance to adopt ect ect ect

dykelyfe666 · July 9, 2020, 2:41 p.m. · 2 replies

Haven't been on a first date in many years now but I wish people would leave the rhetoric of "harmful ideas" some Scientology type cult think where if you even dain to discuss a controversial topic that could mean your mind will be "poisoned."

Only non-lefty meetups I've ever attended were libertarian debates and those were total sausage parties. D:

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 2:47 p.m. · 1 reply

I agree - and doing so would probably also lead to more productive discussions as well. I don’t mind hearing other viewpoints, and I think many of them are very principled and supported. But for some reason when it’s the other way around, I’m “homophobic” or against women or something like that.

Had to look up “sausage party” - and I guess that’s pretty true for most people. I have two conservative female friends, for instance, though last time I check I have more than two friends though.

dykelyfe666 · July 9, 2020, 3:08 p.m.

One of my closest friends (who is straight, or I'd ask if she'd like her info shared haha) leans a lot more to the right than me. She's been the only one I could talk to about the gender identity debate and know I wasn't going to get shut down immediately. But as far as foreign policy and drug policy...we leave those topics aside and agree to disagree.

Good luck out there.

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 9:08 p.m.

Lol sausage party

and-then-stuff · July 9, 2020, 2:49 p.m. · 1 reply

You'd probably have an easier time finding lesbians in conservative spaces than finding conservatives in lesbian spaces. So maybe getting involved in church or republican party networks like young Republicans.

Stay on the apps on top of that tho. Its takes most of a long time to find someone off of them regardless of political leaning.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 3:15 p.m. · 1 reply

I honestly didn’t even think of that, but it makes a lot of sense. I’m mostly involved online, not within in-person groups, but after COVID-19 starts to dwindle down I will definitely give it a shot.

And got it for the apps - thank you very much.

Pixilight · July 9, 2020, 9:14 p.m.

This is likely the best advice you will receive on this thread. (Don't worry you're not alone ;) )

SearchLightsIncLaughing Hard At /r/AL · July 9, 2020, 2:51 p.m. · 1 reply

Some girls arent bothered about politics, some are. When im swiping on tinder i'll often see "No tories" (Conservatives) and although im quite progressive, i was wondering if there actually were any right-leaning women in the world and how that effected their dating pool.

I care about politics so for me personally, if my partner is staunchly right-wing it'll be a no from me because its a view point i value and would like us to be somewhat on the same page - That being said, i couldnt be with a crazy leftist who had all the identity politics and "fuck terfs" going on because i find that those kinds of people are sheepish and dont think for themselves.

I sympathise with your situation (Even if your views are likely abhorrent, only joking :P) But yeah, its just another filter used in dating and your best bet is probably looking for a girl who isnt bothered enough by modern politics to be bothered by your views and if you find that girl? Dont really broach the subject.... Politics is the one thing that almost guarantee's a disagreement. Some people will take it further than others and people's views (On both sides) are not really being respected in the modern day, its all very polarised.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 9:52 p.m. · 1 reply

There are right-leaning women for sure - actually quite a few. Right-leaning gay women? Few and far between, at least from what I’ve seen. I guess I’ve seen a handful of comments mentioning them, but none in real life.

I definitely see your point - with couples of any type, really, I feel like most of them share the same political views. It’s just easier that way I guess, and one less thing to have to “compromise” on, if you will.

I will definitely try to find people that are either more neutral or completely don’t care, and see how that goes.

Thanks again!

SearchLightsIncLaughing Hard At /r/AL · July 10, 2020, 4:26 a.m.

Dont get me wrong, it sounds like a sucky situation, as if your dating pool wasnt small enough! But i honestly hope you find someone compatible in that area or at least someone who wont take your own personal political beliefs to heart!

useless_and_confused · July 9, 2020, 4:12 p.m. · 1 reply

Damn, that sounds pretty hard to be a gay Republican. I think your best bet is to just find someone that doesn't really care much about politics. I tend to lean a bit more to the left, but I wouldn't really have an issue dating someone that was a Republican. Hell, I could probably date someone that was spiritual/religious (to an extent) even though I'm very much an atheist. I'm not interested in someone that's super political (no matter what their views are) because the world is full of things that are so much more interesting to me than politics. I wouldn't advertise it on your dating profile because if anyone mentions that, it's a red flag to me that they just want to argue politics all the time. I would just wait until it comes up organically. At the same time though, it's not a deal breaker for me so I think I'm more fine than the average person to learn about it several dates in.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 9:12 p.m. · 1 reply

I honestly think it may be easier for gay male Republicans, because at least to some extent men tend to have a higher chance of being one in the first place (I think) (this is 100% just based on what I’ve seen, not any statistics).

It’s definitely not like it’s the worst thing that could ever happen, I just have trouble dating ahah.

Thank you very much for sharing your perspective! Hopefully of the “fish in the sea” there are more people like you than I’m lead to believe by Reddit. Also, I tend to agree - as long as someone is respectful of people who don’t always agree with them, everything is good in my book.

Thanks for the tip about trying out a relationship before bringing political stuff up as well - I can see how talking about on it on the first date may have been what did me in.

Thanks again!

useless_and_confused · July 9, 2020, 11:43 p.m.

Best of luck!

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 4:41 p.m. · 1 reply

Try gendercritical spaces im conservative and met my gf at a gendercritical protest. Dating apps suck. But there are a lot of conservative gendercritical lesbians.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 9:05 p.m.

Thank you for the tip! It’s very hard to find such spaces in my area (there are none, at least officially, in my town). But I will definitely try to give it a shot!

Glad to hear about you and your girlfriend! Very awesome to know.

hamingothe lesbionic woman · July 9, 2020, 4:45 p.m. · 1 reply

I live in a very liberal town, and ironically, acceptance of being gay is easier to come by than acceptance of someone who isn't a strongly left-leaning Democrat. Sucks sometimes.

Maybe you should follow your own president's advice and if you dislike living there so much, leave.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:33 p.m. · 1 reply

Whoops! I didn’t mention it (it wasn’t really relevant in the initial post) but I am a high school student!

I can’t move at the moment because I am dependent upon my family, but I will be going to a conservative college, out of my home state.


Igoteightgymbadges · July 9, 2020, 10:32 p.m. · 1 reply

I remember when I was a high school Republican.

But really, my family is conservative, the town I work in is conservative, so I am very informed about conservative beliefs and talking points. I was one up until a few years ago. I have a lot of conservative friends and I get along with them very well (even have some Q-Anon friends), as well as anarchist and socialist friends, so I'm very open with discussing different view points.

With that being said - I don't think I'd ever be able to date someone who is a Republican. As you said (but backwards for me) - Republicans do not support my line of work, as well as many other aspects of my life, so I wouldn't be able to date someone who supports their agenda.

I find it funny that you pointed out that it's harder to be accepted as a Republican than as gay in your area. Hahaha...I work in a place where I have to be closeted and never mention any part of my private life because up until last month, I could have been fired. People say a lot of hateful stuff around me about gay people too, and I was scared to say anything. Fun times working in a conservative area. I think you are a bit privileged in that regard.

But really - be safe at your conservative college. A friend of mine growing up went to a conservative one and was harassed and completely miserable. Apparently homophobia still runs rampant there too. Hopefully you picked one that is much more open minded.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 11:50 p.m.

I’d be interested to know (if you wouldn’t mind sharing) what it is that you do for work? To say that Republicans as a whole don’t support it is a big claim - that is, unless you’re a Democratic politician or something. (I only joke). (Mostly).

And I would definitely be inclined to agree that I am in many ways privileged because of the area I live in - I’m not completely “out” per say, but everyone that I’ve told has been nothing short of amazing. I do feel sorrowful for you though, and your situation/previous situation truly sounds awful.

Thank you for the warning at the end there - although it’s not a laughing matter, I’ve often joked with my friends that I hope to experience the standard hazing regime* and that they treat everyone equally terribly regardless of their differences.

But in reality, I believe I have chosen relatively wisely, though only time will truly tell.

Thank you.

*I don’t condone hazing, but for context I’ll be going to a military college where “hazing” isn’t allowed, but we all know what actually happens.

MundaneCompany0 · July 9, 2020, 5:02 p.m. · 1 reply

It's okay to have different political opinions (in my opinion). Some people are going to paint you with the same broad brush that the activist portion of the trans community paints lesbians as (ie: bad, evil). People who can understand nuance will be willing to hear you out and actually listen.

Not a Republican but I am disgusted by the hate people get for differing opinions, after all everyone here is an 'evil TERF' according to the popular discourse.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:30 p.m.

Thank you very much for this! I completely agree with you.

In all honesty (and this is not even in regards to dating) if one wants to foster change in another, they’ll have a better chance if they actually talk to them, and ask them why they think the way they do, rather than shut them down. So again, I agree.

Thanks again!

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 6:26 p.m. · 1 reply

Hes fine with women, black people , legal immigrants ya know bc they can also be republican

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:26 p.m. · 1 reply

I’m sorry, I don’t understand the “he” you’re referencing. Sorry again!

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:27 p.m. · 2 replies

People of all races support trump. Stop pulling the race card

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:47 p.m.

Oop, sorry again. I understand that 100%! Trump has white supporters, black supporters, Hispanic supporters, Asian supporters, and basically every minority has at least a portion of their population that supports President Trump.

I don’t necessarily agree with every single thing he does or says, but I don’t hate him, either. He has made some good improvements to the country - and some very valuable ones for minorities as well.


StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 9:06 p.m. · 1 reply

Did you HAVE to say “race card”? You could have just left your first sentence and not sounded shitty about it. Loll

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 9:10 p.m. · 1 reply

Yes I did bc yall love to pull the race card. But you have no idea what race people are by looking at them. I look white. But my grandma was native american. The rest of my family is as Irish as it gets.

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 9:14 p.m.

See. You are the one pulling the race card here. a race card blocker when there was no race card being pulled, and that’s such a LAME own. And don’t include me in your “y’all” because I’m not even American and you’re not making a good case for your party of choice when you basically make assumptions about people you resent being made about y’all. Lol.

revengeoftheroosters · July 9, 2020, 6:41 p.m. · 2 replies

I’m a centrist and my gf is republican. Some people will judge heavily for that but most normal people (read: can be from any party, but not extremists) will judge people individually rather than thinking they’re morally superior to everyone. You’ll probably run into some judgmental people, but i think most of them will be obvious from the start. I personally wouldn’t want to date someone who couldn’t have a conversation regardless of whether they were republican or not.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:26 p.m. · 1 reply

Thank you very much for this. I do believe (and this belief has been reinforced by some of the comments on this post) that I just need to keep searching, I guess.

I am glad that you have a working relationship though! I was almost beginning to think I had no chance.

And the conversation bit is a really good point - even for straight couples (who can be from different parties) being able to communicate is one of the most important factors, or at least so I’ve heard lmao.

revengeoftheroosters · July 9, 2020, 9:28 p.m.

You’re going to see more of that in lgbt spaces than with gay people who are just casually living their life. At least, I would hope so!

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 9:04 p.m. · 1 reply

If you can’t converse literally zero problems will every be solved, including racism, sexist, homophobia etc. I agree. I’m not American, but I see a lot of people refusing to have conversations there. It’s seems pretty polarized and lots of people are behaving like total loons, as an outside observer.

revengeoftheroosters · July 9, 2020, 9:16 p.m. · 1 reply

Oh it’s ridiculous, people here often just divide people into “left vs. right” and happily ignore that politics is much more complicated than that. Lots of ego

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 9:18 p.m.

It’s like they don’t want to solve problems. We all still have to live together. We have to be able to do that without yelling all the time

Glamalez · July 9, 2020, 7:02 p.m. · 1 reply

As a woman of color I would stay away because anyone that would support the Republican Party of today, has to on some level be a racist. You can’t support this party and not be.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:20 p.m. · 2 replies

Thank you for sharing your opinion, and I can definitely see where you’re coming from.

I won’t lie, I am white, live in a predominantly white neighborhood, and have very few black peers at school. I understand that if I were born a minority, and actually experienced living as one, then maybe my political viewpoints would be different. I do think about that quite often, but the unfortunate reality is that I will never know what it’s like, and instead base my support for politicians and political parties upon how their policies would impact minorities (how minority majority neighborhoods would be impacted, minority employment rates, etcetera).

So, I am sorry. Perhaps after experiencing more of my life and learning more about others these thoughts may change, but again, at the moment, they won’t.

discosappho · July 9, 2020, 8:53 p.m.

So you admit you know there’s ample information out there that could undermine your political views but you willingly don’t engage with it? That sounds familiar.

Glamalez · July 9, 2020, 9:40 p.m. · 1 reply

You know that your party is stroking the fires of racism, but you don’t care because it’s not happening to you, and it doesn’t effect you or people you love? Well at least you’re self aware. So that tells me you don’t care about anyone but yourself and white people. I’m assuming you’d care if it were white men being killed or white children being put in cages. Maybe then you could find it in yourself to muster up some empathy? Instead of supporting the party doing it then complaining lesbians won’t give you the time of day. Your comment alone shows a great deal of racism, and callousness in your personality. I think maybe women are avoiding you for many different reasons, and not just your political affiliations.

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 10:21 p.m. · 2 replies

People of all races support trump but you just ignore them?

rollerfemme · July 9, 2020, 10:28 p.m. · 1 reply

Of course there are always going to be some people who arent in the majority, but vast majority of people who aren’t white do not support trump. that’s not a coincidence.

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 10:47 p.m. · 1 reply

And the vast majority of violent crimes are committed by minorities and thats not a coincidence either (13% of the population commits 52% of violent crimes) hmmmmm

Continue reading
Glamalez · July 9, 2020, 10:34 p.m. · 1 reply

This is a tra argument. “Some people are intersex!” The whole “look over there” argument. It’s a dog whistle, they aren’t the ones that posted this. This conversation is not about them. She however, is thinking about lying to women by withholding important information, to trick them into a relationship. Personally, I would NEVER give consent to a Republican. EVER! I would feel violated, if I found out later that I was lied too. Why are so many women comfortable taking our sexual choices from us? I mean in a sense it kinda fits with being a Republican. This party has no respect for us, our bodies, or our rights to choose what we do with it.

radical_frogTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 10:45 p.m.

I wouldnt give consent to a Marxist either.

hamingothe lesbionic woman · July 9, 2020, 7:44 p.m. · 2 replies

Fun fact, changing only a couple of OP's words makes this into a "cotton ceiling" whine-rant. (this post originally had different, less goofy sounding words but automod censored the hell out of it - will this version make it through?)

Hey all,
Basically reposting from another subreddit, as I figured this one was actually active so it would be of more help. Anyways.
I was wondering if you guys have had any experience or tips in dating within the gay/lesbian community (while being [a TIM]). Personally, one girl that I've dated has stopped associating herself with me after she learned that I was [a TIM], and another agreed to go on a date with me, and then left early after a discussion we held about whether [my weewee has the same texture as real vagina]. That one hurt more, as we had talked a lot beforehand, and I thought the date was going smoothly.
I live in a very liberal town, and ironically, acceptance of being gay is easier to come by than acceptance of someone who isn't [buzzword for natural born women]. Sucks sometimes.
For those that may be in a similar situation, how has finding girls to date/sustaining these relationships gone? Do you just keep your [transition status] hidden? Do you only date other [TIMs]?
Thanks to all.
TL;DR I don’t mind dating [buzzword for natural born women] girls, but they don’t like dating me.

Nobody is entitled to anybody else's body, mind, affection, time, or anything else! I thought that was the whole point of this sub! If you want to meet conservative lesbians, go to a military town or New Hampshire or something and ditch the incel-grade entitlement. Other women don't owe you anything.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:01 p.m. · 1 reply

I’m very sorry, but I don’t understand what a “TIM” is. I also don’t understand the relevancy of the changed version of what I said - maybe I’m missing something? Sorry again.

I do not think I’m entitled to other women in any way - nor do I think what I said implies that, but if it does, please let me know so I can be better in the future.

I will actually be attending a military college, so perhaps that will help me in my endeavors, so thank you for that tip.

Again, I don’t understand the “incel-grade entitlement” either, perhaps I am missing something. I simply wanted advice for either finding conservative women or dating liberal women and sustaining a relationship with one.

Thank you anyways.

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 10:01 p.m.

That was an unfair comparison they made. I see you are a high school student living with parents. I think it’s best to be honest and upfront about your political views, but still be open to listen to others, and hopefully they listen to you too.

lots of things change after high school. I hope you find someone you like

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 8:59 p.m. · 1 reply

This is not fair.

robokittybeepboop · July 9, 2020, 9:19 p.m. · 1 reply

What's unfair about it?

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 9:22 p.m. · 1 reply

It’s a false equivalency. Coercing someone into sex and trying to date with differing political views are not the same, one is rape. Guess which?

robokittybeepboop · July 9, 2020, 9:43 p.m.

Maybe I missed some important part of American history, but when did freedom of speech in the form of political views include a guaranteed audience? She complains that "liberal" women don't want to spend time with her after she voices her opinions and asks whether she should lie about her views to get dates. That sounds a little bit coercive to me.

There's nothing wrong with being conservative, I'm a Libertarian myself and believe that everyone has the freedom to express whatever opinion they want. Freedom of speech doesn't mean that other people have to listen to it, though.

eden0807 · July 9, 2020, 7:57 p.m. · 1 reply

Why is it ironic that people in your small liberal town are more likely to accept gay people than people who hold harmful political views?

Try your local trump rally.

0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:07 p.m.

It’s not necessarily ironic in the context of the town - as, clearly, it is the norm for my town. However, it’s ironic when looked at from a viewpoint that keeps the United States as a whole in mind, because in general coming out as a gay person carries a history of negative outcomes, whereas (again, in general) being a conservative does not carry the same weight nor consequences. Sorry if my statement was of poor quality.

I am, actually, not a huge fan of Trump, so it is not likely that I will be attending a Trump rally (I also wish to not attend any heavily crowded events at all, due to COVID-19).

Furthermore, not every conservative/Republican supports every conservative/Republican politician. I will not be voting for Trump in the upcoming election, for instance.

Thank you for your contribution anyways.

butterednoodles27 · July 9, 2020, 8:17 p.m. · 2 replies

How on earth can you support Trump and the party that nominated him as their candidate.

And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

I don’t know how any woman who has an ounce of self-respect can support that man. Of course other lesbians don’t want to date you, you stand with the party that has been, and continues to be, against LGBT people.

930ygsTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:55 p.m.


0c3vTrueLesbians · July 9, 2020, 8:59 p.m. · 1 reply

Sorry if you haven’t seen my replies to some other comments - I don’t wholly support President Trump - I will not be voting for him in the upcoming election, as I honestly believe the United States needs a leader that just acts more professionally.

However, it’s not my fault that he was the Republican candidate. I don’t control the whole Republican Party.

I support conservatism/the Republican Party (note: not every politician it provides) because when I look at my opinion on issues and common political topics, they just happen to align with the aforementioned groups. I enjoy having the strongest military in the world (among other things), so sue me. Being gay or female doesn’t impact that.

And yes - I understand the Republican Party has historically been homophobic and currently has quite a few homophobic individuals within it. I really do. It is one of my biggest issues with it. However, all of the other parts of my life that are impacted beneficially by having a Republican in office honestly outweigh the possible downsides that come about in regards to just a small part of who I am. There are obviously many people for whom being gay is a bigger part of their life, but really for me I have not been impacted negatively in any way (in regards to my sexuality) by President Trump. That’s just how it is, for me.

inbetweentwoworlds · July 10, 2020, 3:21 a.m.

I enjoy having the strongest military in the world

Well, if the US military would stop killing civilians in the Middle East, that would be great.

StrictlyDykely · July 9, 2020, 8:56 p.m.

It’s not just political disagreement, it’s if the other person is showing and empathy or understanding for your perspective and if they are not arguing like a total asshole about it. I couldn’t be with someone whose views were very dramatically different to mine, and I considered them harmful, but some differences are okay. If someone is completely cutting you out I am assuming their views are very rigid or yours are, or both. The question is, why would you want to date women who believe your worldview is terrible, or vice versa?

Relevant-Hour-9910 · July 9, 2020, 10 p.m. · 1 reply

I’m a Republican.

So to answer your first question and second question. I used to keep my political thoughts/beliefs to myself with women I dated and my old group of friends. Having to hide what I believed in and feeling like I couldn’t relate to the people around me made me feel really alone and sad for a long time.

My dad got sick in August of 2017 and died that next summer. Two years ago today. That experience from the time he got sick to when he died and the four months after changed me and the way I saw my life and everyone in it. The loneliness that I had been feeling for years was so magnified at that point that I wasn’t able to ignore the reality that was my life and one day I made the decision to change it.

The point of me sharing that personal part of my life with you is to show that if you can’t be 100% who you are with a partner or a group of friends those relationships aren’t going to be real and when that’s the case and something life altering or devastating happens you won’t be able to ignore that loneliness anymore.

My last girlfriend was the only girl I had dated that I was honest with about being a Republican. She was a Democrat, but her dad was a Republican so I think because of that she was able to be open minded about it. Before I met her though I had promised myself that I wasn’t going to hide who I was anymore and that’s why I was honest with her.

I’ve never dated another Republican or conservative, but I know they’re out there. For me I know that dating someone who’s really far left or a Socialist Democrat would not work. My work and how I make a living revolves around the stock market and Capitalism and those are two things that I’m very passionate about and I know that dating people who have the beliefs and values that far left and socialist democrats have do not align with my beliefs or values at all. I’d like to end up with someone who’s beliefs and values compliment mine you know? That could be someone who’s also a Republican or conservative or a centrist or libertarian or a Democrat, but the important thing is being able to unconditionally love and respect each other and being able to listen wholeheartedly to each other.

But OP whoever you’re meant to end up with she isn’t going to be able to find you if you’re not 100% honest and being 100% you. So don’t give up or allow people to make you feel bad about what you believe. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not or the real thing won’t be able to find you.

DeathByTheGunTrueLesbians · July 10, 2020, 4:57 a.m. · 1 reply

Glad to find another fiscally conservative lesbian !

Cheers from Jordan.

Relevant-Hour-9910 · July 10, 2020, 11:55 a.m. · 1 reply

Thanks! I’m sorry you’re getting downvoted...I’m not really sure why people are feeling the need to do that when your comment is friendly.

DeathByTheGunTrueLesbians · July 10, 2020, 12:16 p.m.

I have no idea Lol

nesswithanLalmondy loverboi. · July 10, 2020, 1:31 a.m.

i used to say it didn't matter, and part of me wants to believe that it still doesn't. but with all that's happening in the world, i can't say that anymore. republicans got us into this huge mess and refuse to do anything to get us out. how can you support that? because they share a few ideas that you like? nevermind the fact that they don't even fuck with gays, they're literally letting the country burn.. for no reason. it makes no sense. a year ago, i would've said as long as you don't currently and have never at all fucked with Trump and aren't racist, it's cool, but now.. nah. can't get down with the GOP at all.

al-Amira · July 10, 2020, 3:03 a.m.

Mine differs from the "norm" as I consider my political leanings to be anarcho-syndicalist, for the most part it doesn't matter what or who someone I date votes for. There are a few exceptions though, for instance I would never in a million years date someone who would vote for the Sweden Democrats, a political party with roots in nazism, a party whose top members have again and again compared homosexuality with bestiality and pedophilia and the list can be made quite long over their disgusting views. I mean, they hate immigrants and they hate homosexuals - not sure why anyone who'd date me would vote for them, but still.

I'd probably not date anyone who thinks that the American political system is a good one (both sides are equally vile on foreign relations for instance - the only decent person in US politics was Gabbard if you ask me, far from perfect - but who isn't?). I wouldn't date anyone who serves in an army (Swedish Home Guard and similar is fine as long as they're never deployed abroad, but Swedish national army? No), I'm far from a pacifist though. Likewise I'm unlikely to date anyone who is into identity or gender politics. I wouldn't date anyone who actually adheres to a religion, like it's fine to have religious beliefs or be unsure whether there's a God or not, but if you actually believe that Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism is the actual representation of God or that they have anything to do with a presumed God then I don't think we should date (my ex hated my view on religion I might add, we got along fine), I can appreciate tribal religions that ascribes a spirit to everything and thinks that everything is sacred and living - I just don't believe in spirits even if I think that all living things are sacred... anyway I digress.

I wouldn't exclude anyone who considers themself a conservative nor would I automatically include anyone who is a leftist, it depends on their stance on certain issues or problems. If they're a conservative like Alice Weidel (a german conservative lesbian who is a member of the right-wing party AfD who thinks marriage should only be for men and women and so on and so forth (as though marriage didn't exist before misogynistic and archaic religions)? Hell no, not sure why they'd choose to date someone they clearly wouldn't like but still. Who I'd date is based on their ideologies and their views rather than who they vote for, which in some cases can be the same but not entirely, it's more a thing about how they think, if they think (an issue not solely existing for "the right" I might add), it's more the vibe or the feeling I get from someone.

I don't need to date a carbon copy of myself, I'd prefer not to (I'm probably unbearable), I dont need to date someone who shares every little belief, opinion or conviction that I have, but there are key elements that I find important. I wouldn't date anyone who revere a war criminal for instance (Barack Obama, amongst others), something many people seem to do in some circles. I guess my point is, there is more to politics than left, right and center, there's more to a person than who they vote for and don't vote for.

inbetweentwoworlds · July 10, 2020, 3:17 a.m.

I don't mind dating women who are centrist or a bit to the right but Republicans are so extremely right wing so that would be a no. If you're fiscally conservative or don't want the state to be involved in people's lives there are other parties to choose from, parties that don't hate women, LGBT people, immigrants, Native Americans and people of color. I don't necessarily mind dating women who are a bit conservative, but Republican? Sorry, no.

moogisxx · July 10, 2020, 3:55 a.m.

If a girl is liberal I just pretend to be liberal as well. I’ve lost any hope of meeting conservative women irl.

DeathByTheGunTrueLesbians · July 10, 2020, 4:55 a.m.

I'm right leaning for the most part (moreso economically than socially)

It hasn't been that difficult for me because when i do date girls, they're usually more centrist/apolitical as opposed to left or right wingers.

I genuinely think it depends where you are in the world, I'm sure the U.S is much different with the identitarian politics that's present.

I'm in the middle east and things here are quite different especially among the LGBT community. They're either marxists or centre-left at best. The rest aren't well read politically so they're what i consider "moderate liberals".

My current gf is neither left or right wing, it doesn't matter to me as much honestly. As long as we both share core values in life (It means different things for different people).

I prefer not to talk about my political leanings at all, knowing that most of the community around me would shun me for alot of my beliefs / views.

I genuinely believe that you must identify your very core values and go on from there, even if the girl may not be a republican or is independent for the most part. There's a likelihood that you may share some values (be it economically, socially or whatnot). I just think in this era people aren't as open as they'd like to be about certain views due to the current state of affairs globally (political correctness).

You would've had more luck posting in r/rightwinglgbt but they've been banned sadly.

Either way, i wish you luck. 💜

a_blue_bird · July 10, 2020, 7:43 a.m.

Do you just keep your political thoughts hidden? Do you only date other conservatives?

I date women who I have a good time with, and get along with. Most of the time that's either women who aren't political or conservatives. I wrote that like you I don't mind dating liberal women, and largely that is true, but then I read this thread with its simplistic attacks on the Republican party, and remembered some of my own dates with liberal women who had no other topic to discuss than politics, and expected us to form an emotional connection over 'orange man bad' and similar opinions. Just find someone whom you genuinely like, who has respect for you and who you can respect as well. Don't try to hide, deceive or settle.

LemortjoyeuxThat cat lady · July 10, 2020, 8:58 a.m.

I live in Canada where conservatives are closer to Democrats in the US and our left is very radical. Things like abortion and gay rights aren't even on the table for discussion. For us it's history so it's kind of weird that Americans are still divided on this. The issues that divide each side are immigration, social programs and freedom of speech/hate speech debate. I align more conservative except the conservatives here have zero interest is environmentalism which is a complete deal breaker for me so I usually end up voting liberals or NPD.

Nevertheless lesbians here tend to be the tankie sort of radical leftists. Most are gender critical or indifferent about that issue so in that sense they're less left, but when it comes to everything else it's: ACAB, accept all the immigrants even if their values don't align with ours, tax excessively and redistribute the wealth. I don't agree with these things and it was a source of conflict. The thing is most of the time they're pretty moderate but don't even know it. If instead of saying I vote for these guys you explain your point of view on an issue then you can find common ground. Maybe explain that when you vote you're voting locally and not for trump or anyone racist that's higher up. Unless you actually do vote for them then I don't really understand why?

It might not be possible in the US to find common ground because from my perspective you guys have a us vs them mentality so even if your MP is moderate and you're voting for them and not trump there doesn't seem to be any space for nuance.

hufflepuff-poet · July 10, 2020, 10:03 a.m.

I'm Black so I don't really feel like I could date a Republican. The modern Republican party thinks Black Lives Matter is hate speech and their supporters are actively going out and hurting/threatening people of color. Maybe before Trump, I woulda been more open to it, but now-after 3 1/2 years of the GOP supporting and enabling Trump's f*ckery, I would just be too worried that she had some of those same racist views on some level even if she hid them well.

Plus I'm a leftist and we would just have completely incompatible values and moral beliefs and I wouldn't be able to respect her if she could still support the GOP after their dismantling of our democracy and enabling the rise of fascism in our country (I'm not joking about the rising fascism, please read about this more y'all and vote in Nov!!)

That said, you should probably just be honest in your bio about your beliefs then you can match with women who'll be more compatible or atleast don't care about politics.

MandoLakesTrueLesbians · July 10, 2020, 11:03 a.m.

I mean if you look at the things you are saying here, it may have less to do with what party you support and more to do with a lack of ability to think critically. Intelligence is important for attraction and if you lack that...

oatmealhockey · July 10, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

I feel like you'd probably have the best luck going for other conservatives or just more apolitical women. I think if you're just looking for very casual relationships you will also have more luck because I think they'd just be more interested in whether you have fun hanging out and having sex or whatever. I also think there are liberal lesbians who would date you, but you guys would have to really click and be able to respect your differences that people tend to feel pretty passionate about in some way. This can work for some, but it is probably hard.

I also wouldn't hide your political thoughts for a committed relationship. If the only way you can be with someone is by never expressing how you feel about the sounds really unhealthy. You also don't want to cause trust issues in an established relationship by them finding out your beliefs on certain things don't align later on.

I couldn't be with a conservative girl because I know I would just not be able to mentally handle being with someone who disagreed with many things that I see as core values. But I hope that you find a relationship that works for you.

justsara77 · July 10, 2020, 12:57 p.m.

It’s possible, but there has to be boundaries. I come from a family that is both Democrat and Republican and some family members are married to someone with opposing views. You have to either agree to disagree and be respectful, or not talk politics. Not to say you can’t have engaging talks, but I feel like this currently climate we are in, it’s forced both sides to stick their heels in ground and stick with their own. It’s not impossible, but if it’s an issue you have had then you may want to seek out a fellow conservative, or a moderate. I consider myself middle of the road and socially liberal and have some fiscal conservative ways.

Good luck!