like everyday i think and just KNOW how much happier and successful i would be if i was actually good looking. if i was a pretty girl id legit LOVE to get out of bed everyday, go to work, go outside for walks, explore my city, make plans, etc..

thats what fucking KILLS me everyday the most. Instead im this repulsive weirdly shaped inactive potato who legit sleeps or lays in bed till 6 pm, its SO hard for me to get up. i cant do it. what is there to be awake for? waking up and showing up to a sad inferior pathetic life of being in my small room all day.

im trying so hard to get it together and lose my excess belly/back/waist fat so i can go get a job and move out into a better environment but its so hard. i lose hope everytime when i remember how ugly i am, i just give up because whats the point. ill never be that accomplished healthy pretty girl with the clean slick hair, nice blouse & skirt & heels at her job, i hate it. i wanna dress up nice do my hair wear skirts and heels and cute outfits and go out into the world everyday ad have fun.

i dont see the point in any of it as an ugly girl but i know 1000% i would if i was pretty. ugh. i had ONE fucking job just one!!!!! nothing else matters to me if im missing the pretty face.