Its okay to vent, even if you feel like no when will read it. I'm so sorry your ex did that to you. I know exactly how you feel. I honestly don't think i'll be able to trust men again after the last involvement I had. And personally it's for the best because it forced me to focus on my own needs because I couldn't distract myself as much anymore. The last guy was the final straw because he was the nail that confirmed all my past insecurities. I loathed myself and measured myself constantly to fit an ideal I thought he'd want, long after we split. Its so hard because I tried to improve in the wrong ways. I didn't want to get thicker skin and get used to being called ugly, I just didn't want to be called ugly at all (or feel that is was implied).
They say time heals all wounds and it does make it easier. But you still get flashbacks to that pain of rejection. I think people don't understand how hard that weighs on your heart. To feel like a rollback product on clearance. Of course life goes on but I have to get high every day to get by without a panic attack or flashback to what happened.
Im sorry if this was depressing, I just wanted to be real with you because that is an awful feeling to go through. I know how heavy your heart feels and how it feels like you have a weight on your chest. Fuck him though he was probably boring anyway.
And on a lighter note friends are wayyyy better than any relationships ive had. With wildly different men. Other things become more appealing once you've had your fair share of bs haha.
Thank you for taking the time to write out this post, it made me feel really understood. I am also struggling with addiction because of what happened (it resurrected my old addiction in a really nasty way). I will try to focus on building my connections with my friends, because they're all I really have right now. I wish you the very best (:
505ithyVolcel · Jan. 13, 2021, 12:47 a.m.
Thank you !! You as well ! :)
vcardthrow1Femcel · Jan. 13, 2021, 1:28 p.m.
Pain destroys, especially if you realize it's not what other people get. It's so hard just enduring without love or validation - abuse poisons, and it endures. It's like trying to grow a garden on salted ground. That doesn't change over time without intervention.
writenicelyVolcel · Jan. 12, 2021, 11:13 p.m.
Thank you!
OronaRVaderBecky · Jan. 12, 2021, 11:41 p.m.
This. It’s terribly frustrating to talk about trauma and then have people tell you iT wAs MeAnT tO HaPpEn, iT taUgHt YoU aN ImPoRtAnT LiFe LesSOn anD MadE YoU StrOngEr.
Like no lol, I actually cry more than I ever have in years, go through chronic mood swings and break down at the smallest of inconveniences.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is the biggest piece of bullshit I’ve ever heard.
Yeah. not ''everything that didn't kill you make you stronger'' it leave you afraid, alone, and probably emotionally behind 'normal' people.... and all the time you spent to heal is time you don't use to grow up or build yourself.
TallBluebell · Jan. 13, 2021, 4:24 a.m. · 1 reply
It didn’t make me stronger, It gave me ✨PTSD✨
OronaRVaderBecky · Jan. 13, 2021, 9:16 a.m.
✨hi5✨
totehureFemcel · Jan. 13, 2021, 7:55 a.m.
This is no joke me):
HotpinkBlanketFemcel · Jan. 13, 2021, 2:41 p.m.
Getting stronger from trauma is absolute bullshit and completely inconsistent with what we know about human psychology and biology. Trauma, especially early trauma, will most likely make you weaker, more likely to give up and more prone to a variety of diseases. Acting tough (which is what many traumatised people do) is not synonymous with being strong.
Absolutely this.
ugh yup!
Yep pretty much.
Mental health needs to start before birth.
You put it into so many beautifully sorrowful words. I'm with you hon. Still.... becoming the phoenix after all this seems worth the attempt!
I know its simple but this makes me really sad. I hope you get through it.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Hope you get through this.
Its okay to vent, even if you feel like no when will read it. I'm so sorry your ex did that to you. I know exactly how you feel. I honestly don't think i'll be able to trust men again after the last involvement I had. And personally it's for the best because it forced me to focus on my own needs because I couldn't distract myself as much anymore. The last guy was the final straw because he was the nail that confirmed all my past insecurities. I loathed myself and measured myself constantly to fit an ideal I thought he'd want, long after we split. Its so hard because I tried to improve in the wrong ways. I didn't want to get thicker skin and get used to being called ugly, I just didn't want to be called ugly at all (or feel that is was implied).
They say time heals all wounds and it does make it easier. But you still get flashbacks to that pain of rejection. I think people don't understand how hard that weighs on your heart. To feel like a rollback product on clearance. Of course life goes on but I have to get high every day to get by without a panic attack or flashback to what happened.
Im sorry if this was depressing, I just wanted to be real with you because that is an awful feeling to go through. I know how heavy your heart feels and how it feels like you have a weight on your chest. Fuck him though he was probably boring anyway.
And on a lighter note friends are wayyyy better than any relationships ive had. With wildly different men. Other things become more appealing once you've had your fair share of bs haha.
Thank you for taking the time to write out this post, it made me feel really understood. I am also struggling with addiction because of what happened (it resurrected my old addiction in a really nasty way). I will try to focus on building my connections with my friends, because they're all I really have right now. I wish you the very best (:
Thank you !! You as well ! :)
Pain destroys, especially if you realize it's not what other people get. It's so hard just enduring without love or validation - abuse poisons, and it endures. It's like trying to grow a garden on salted ground. That doesn't change over time without intervention.
Thank you!
This. It’s terribly frustrating to talk about trauma and then have people tell you iT wAs MeAnT tO HaPpEn, iT taUgHt YoU aN ImPoRtAnT LiFe LesSOn anD MadE YoU StrOngEr.
Like no lol, I actually cry more than I ever have in years, go through chronic mood swings and break down at the smallest of inconveniences.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is the biggest piece of bullshit I’ve ever heard.
Yeah. not ''everything that didn't kill you make you stronger'' it leave you afraid, alone, and probably emotionally behind 'normal' people.... and all the time you spent to heal is time you don't use to grow up or build yourself.
It didn’t make me stronger, It gave me ✨PTSD✨
✨hi5✨
This is no joke me):
Getting stronger from trauma is absolute bullshit and completely inconsistent with what we know about human psychology and biology. Trauma, especially early trauma, will most likely make you weaker, more likely to give up and more prone to a variety of diseases. Acting tough (which is what many traumatised people do) is not synonymous with being strong.