This is actually triggering to actual BDD sufferes
Submitted Jan. 13, 2021, 8:56 a.m. by kikii07I'm probably going to get flack for this but I went in r/amiugly and I saw a post with a selfie picture of a very attractive girl claiming she has BDD. People with BDD never take photos for validation online. The photo has 2.1K likes as we speak and 10 awards. If it were an actual unattractive woman though. I was watching a BDD documentary and the participants avoided social media like a plague and rarely took pictures of themselves yet publish them. It makes BDD sufferers look like a joke.
35 comments recovered from the Pushshift database.
Sometimes I see my face like very different from what really is and I refuse to take like even one picture so I'm kinda understanding what you're saying, maybe she thinks she has BDD or just have low self esteem if she is really attractive, that can happen to depending what she lived.
You're right maybe, but the way she poses / takes photos clearly shows that's not the case. I'm not going to diagnose someone over the internet though, but thanks to all these self-diagnosed "ugly" girls, i used to think I had bdd even though it's probably me looking fatter than I am. Only hearing from people who suffer genuinely from it did I realise how bad people actually have it. It's really disgusting to take advantage of that kind of mental obstacle someone actually goes through.
It's the same on any appearance based subreddit. Always gets me when they put a sob story in the title. They may as well write "Look, I love compliments and validation because I'm incredibly self-absorbed, but I don't want to seem vain. But I also don't want to risk people giving actual constructive criticism, I just want people to feel sorry for me. I think I'm pretty enough that I'll be accused of compliment fishing, so I need to sound like I'm tragically insecure so that all I get are over-rates and told to love myself."
You can tell the compliment whores from legit posters
Seriously, don't spend any of your time on subs like those. It's just horny boys and validation sluts.
Amen to this answer. It came about on my home page and I got a little triggered like huh? You can tell most posts are from the horny dudes who will most likely attack me for being critical.
Everyone on social media is a self-diagnosing mess.
BDD, autism, depression etc. are serious and shouldn't be thrown around like candy.
BDD behavior is like you said someone who literally CANT FUNCTION in real life. They avoid socializing, avoid having any attention on them, it doesn't just affect them 'mentally' it literally hinders their actions to live a normal life. Yet to some fucking moids we're just pretty women with BDD, couldn't be further from the truth.
/I just saw the post. Fucking hilarious, she's obv fishing for compliments. A person with BDD would rather die than take pics AND post them for the world to see. Especially perfectly posed pics like hers, bitch you know you don't have BDD when you know how to position the camera.
/Everybody wanna be 'mental' until they come into contact with actually mentally ill people, then they wanna bounce the second they have to deal with us.
What self-dxers don't seem to get is that there's a difference between saying you experience certain symptoms and saying you have a disorder or illness. I can say that I have nausea and headaches, I've heard that those are shared symptoms with brain cancer, but I can't then just decide I must have brain cancer and go about telling everyone.
Exactly. self-diagnosed autists for example make me furious. my own brother was born with autism and it was like going through hell (and it still is, especially for my mum,because she has to deal with his behaviour and take care of him). it isn't just a bit of social awkwardness and having troubles socializing. they abuse the concept of a spectrum, doesn't mean they have autism. do they have ticks, habits, things they do literally every day? like make sounds by hitting or slapping etc. it bothers me to no end to see people who can formulate coherent and cohesive sentences and possess rationale and logical thinking beyond the age 10 thinking they have autism. that's not being autistic at all, autism is downplayed so much. ever since the internet decided to hype autism everyone and their granny apparently seems to have it. nvm the fact that most cases actually develop at a very early stage in life, what are the odds that everyone nowadays 'just discovered they're autistic'. .. i'm getting too heated over this shit, need to calm down.
/i better not get downvoted for sharing my personal experience. that's tone-deaf as fuck and undermining my traumatic experiences i've had with my brother. fuck you.
Im autistic and I have been made into a complete pariah within online autistic communities because I refuse to acknowledge these assholes that self dx and wear it like a badge. It's like they use it in place of a personality, or as an excuse for their own failings rather than working on themselves.
exactly, i'm fucking pissed
I honestly feel like the antagonism towards self dxers might come from a place of privilege. Not everyone has the economic resources or support (familial or otherwise) to go to a psychologist/chiatrist and get diagnosed + treated for mental illness. I don’t think there’s an inherent issue w/ self diagnosing.
Also, mental illness is a spectrum and symptoms don’t necessarily present/express themselves identically in every single person. You might experience BDD in one degree, and someone may very well experience it in another. Your experiences, nor theirs, shouldn’t and aren’t invalid just because of differences.
Not saying ppl don’t use mental illnesses as a copout, or that the girl the OP was talking ab it 100% mentally ill and suffering from BDD, but I find this to be a common sentiment in this subreddit that’s always personally bothered me.
Self-diagnosing is fatal though. This is repeatedly told by professionals as well. Even if you tick all boxes doesn't mean you have it. Most just seem to have social anxiety or social awkwardness and nothing of that has to reflect autism. Autism isn't a walk in the park, nor are any of the others. If everyone just falls on a spectrum then we are all mentally illness to some degree and no one can be considered healthy, even though that's extremely unrealistic. Autism is autism because it has specific identifiers to make someone be considered autistic. Anyone who has actually visited facilities where autistic people live knows what I'm talking about. And also, we live in a time where there is every opportunity to get diagnosed for free, we have professionals who offer this or healthcare systems that pay for it, nobody should excuse not having the opportunity. Just getting an appointment at a doctor (for free) is a good step in the right direction and doesn't cost you anything.
I’m not even specifically talking about autism though. When I responded, I had illnesses like depression, anxiety, BDD, etc in mind.
Where do you live? Because here in America, many psych appointments go for upwards $100/hr, possibly more. Getting diagnosed costs money. If you’re poor, spending $100/hr isn’t necessarily feasible or a priority if you need that money allocated for food/groceries, gas/transportation payments, school funds/tuition, housing, etc.
even outside an economic standpoint (as the exorbitant costs of healthcare seem to be almost unique to US), again like I said in my first comment, the support may not be there. I know when I was going through my worst depressive and suicidal episodes as a minor a couple years ago, my mother refused to take me to get psychiatric help. Some families simply do not offer support, either due to religion (may be told to pray the illness away) or simply a societal stigma (being mentally ill is still grossly stigmatized, yes even in modern times).
Again, getting diagnosed may not be possible for every person. I don’t think it’s far to shame people who do self diagnose.
Those illnesses you mentioned still should never be self-diagnosed. If everyone self-diagnoses and keeps spreading wrong information online everyone will assume that those illnesses aren't actually as serious as they are and that's what's pissing me off. This leads to people not taking you seriously and it messes up a ton about how people are perceived. I'm very well in the right to criticize those people, after all they _aren't_ officially diagnosed, so they may not even have any illnesses in first place, since nobody knows.
also, the US seriously needs to get their shit together. How can a country not provide a stable social and healthcare system, it is beyond me. In Europe this is almost unheard of and everyone is quick to offer help, for free.
When I was 12, I would spend up to 45 minutes opening and closing a drawer as part of a ritual. I would feel the urge to tap something 48 times (that was my number), pick something up and put it down over and over until it felt just right. I couldn’t ever write certain numbers, because it meant something “bad” would happen. I had certain rituals I had to perform like opening and closing a door until it “felt right”. I would have a very long phrase that I would recite in order to stop something bad from happening that had to be said in the exact same way or else I thought something bad would happen.
Does that sound like OCD to you? Because I diagnosed myself with OCD. Then I got a therapist and guess what, she said I had it. It took me awhile to get the diagnoses because my mom shamed me for having mental illness and eventually got me a therapist. Not everyone can see a therapist. What was I to do as a 12 year old that just wanted answers? Couldn’t really drive myself to an appointment or even make one. Point is it’s not always bad.
Do you get it though. You actually got diagnosed with it by a professional at some point, that's how you know for sure that you have it. Others don't bother and use it as an excuse to never improve themselves. When I say I'm fed up and pissed about self-diagnosers I don't mean people like you, maybe that should have been clear. It's people who clearly have no fucking clue about what the illnesses or conditions even entail and go around parading with it as if it's some sort of sympathy/victim badge to have. And that's MOST people. Rarely do I see people who truly suffer be so vocal about it, actually being ill is still so stigmatized and everyone acts like it's not a big deal when it is.
Yea I get your point. Personally I was incredibly ashamed and would’ve never shared that I had OCD. I’ve never told anyone irl (aside from my mother). It’s annoying to watch people turn pain and suffering into a trend. The OCD thing in particular bothers me. I’d sit there in tears for hours doing something when people think it’s just wanting things to be neat.
Why did they even give her so much attention, it's like directly saying ''if you are gorgeous and want compliments just post there and pretend to have bdd''
I know right? Attractive women get sympathy while ugly women are told to get over it🙄
Yes! My niece has BDD and everytime she tries to take a selfie she has a mental breakdown, needless to say the photos never make it to social media. She also never goes out in public bc she has this irrational fear of being seen, people really need to stop self diagnosing it's so insentitive
This is one of those serious cases. Yet you'll have attention seekers trying to self diagnose
What a joke. I can hardly look at my pictures, let alone post them online.
i will never understand the logic of wanting to seem as if you have a mental illness. BDD is fucking horrible and my life would be exponentially better if i didnt have it
I feel for you dear. It's up to a point that people with this condition get taken as a joke.
People can't have respect for those born unattractive because they've been taught all their life that ugly=bad.
This...is the truth. So they gaslight them when they speak about it
what is it with people self diagnosing and romanticizing mental illness?
It’s not fun and not only that it’s MONEY that some of us don’t have to see a therapist/psychologist. I don’t want to sound dismissive either as I understand people have valid concerns but come on...
That being said I was told I had BDD (i don’t believe it though cause I know what I am looking in the mirror) but one day years ago I finally got the courage to post on amiugly... from the few comments i got were mainly saying yeah my nose is big but i was still kinda cute, one said “ur cute, you’ll never be a white girl but just work with what you’ve got!” 😒
I understand people who genuinely suffer from mental illness and look for online sources to help them understand what is going on with them since they can'taccess mentalhealthservices due to them being costly. I'm not dismissing anyone here but in this case, supposedly this particular person claims to have BDD while posting up pics and not only one, but six if I'm not wrong. People who actually suffer avoid mirrors, have trouble in social situations because they are self conscious and literally hate their appearance that they don't even look for validation because it doesn't do anything and they know it. Maybe and only maybe there is a spectrum for BDD that ranges from mild to strong. I'd reason with that.
oh no i’m agreeing with your post!
like i mentioned, i supposedly had BBD when I was younger but even so I never took ANY photos. i’d skip school and cry in the mirror all the time. so when I see people self diagnosing it’s like yeah, i’m sure they have low self esteem but they’re functioning well enough to be posting selfie’s and it doesn’t interfere with their daily life
Like i hope she gets help but it’s obvious she’s not even unattractive based on the comments too. When i posted I obvs didn’t get those types of comments.
I think I failed to understand you and I'm sorry. Are you doing a tad bit alright for now? BDD can really interfere with one's life a thief of joy. Folks with BDD will never even be able to interpret being called beautiful properly even though by most part they get positive feedback.
What is BDD
Ohh... is it body dysmorphia?
Yeah I have that
But I also post pics, albeit seldomly, but it’s complicated all the reasons why
I have bdd and I haven't taken a photo in years, and post it on social media.